Chronicles of Stony
by Spoot Poot
Summary: I reposted this due to another issue with someone spamming my reviews. ANYWAY! This is just for fun. It's 80% HEADCANON! So leave me alone. It's some happy little STONY love. Read or don't.
1. The List

Spoot: YAAAASSSS BATCH!

Tony: hi.

Spoot: Oh right, he's in this. WELCOME BACK!

The List

Steve marched into the living room of the compound with his hands over his ears. There was music going, as usual but this time things were askew. Instead of it being blasted from the lab, it was being blasted from that very room at levels that would make one's ears bleed. Tony was standing in the middle of the room with his arms out in triumph. "NIRVANA!" He shouted. "WHAAATTT?"

"NIRVANA!"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"NIRV-" Tony hit the power button, causing the music to die. "Nirvana." He said calmly as he got that smirk on his face. "I don't get it." Steve barked as he smoothed back his hair, trying to get back those groomed good looks. "You can't just blare some music and call it Nirvana. That was not peaceful in any way! That was not even music! That was...gutter trash!"

"Nnnooo...that was Nirvana."

"Tony you and I clearly have two different def-"

"The band's name is Nirvana Dorito." Steve was taken aback for a second, searching his mind for why this all was relevant. Before Tony could say anything he caught on. "My list...you looked at my list..."

"Looked...stole it from your back pocket while you were in the shower...whatever." Tony scoffed out with a chuckle. "You really need to add more to it. I mean...Elvis. AC/DC...Stone Temple Pilots! Nothing?"

"I have no idea who they are."

"Ozzy?"

"Nope."

"Its like I'm talking to my grandpa. I gotta really catch you up to speed here. No seriously, you need to get out more." He held up the little book Steve kept on him at all times, and then snatched it away as he reached for it. He opened it to the correct page and began, "Rocky? Balboa? Oh man you are so outta the loop. Thai food huh? Never had it?"

"No..." Steve huffed out in irritation. "I've never had it. And I don't know who Rocky is and I've never listened to Nirvana. Now give it back..."

"You did. Nirvana, you just listened to it. Yah that was it."

"Well I'm glad. Now I know what to avoid so when the new stuff hits shelves I can look the other way." Tony sucked on his teeth as Steve finished his rant. "Yikes...yeah the lead singer has been dead a while...and people are still kinda raw over it...soooo...best keep that to yourself." He threw an arm over the other man's shoulder and pulled him in. "Here's an idea. I keep this...and read it over. I'll add a few things and cross some off...like you did with Star Wars. How was it by the way?"

"Predictable and the last book irritated me."

"Book? Ooohhh Dorito...no...you don't read Star Wars...you watch it, you experience it. You ffffeeeelllll it...come on, we're gunna go pick up some Thai and rent some movies."

"Nobody rents movies anymore Tony, even I know that. And they call me old..." Tony just gave him the face he always gave, an eye roll and a lip jerk. Steve pulled away from him and took the book back. "Tony, you wanna do something nice for me...do some dishes. Or wash my bike. Don't go out and try to complete this list. It's my list..."

"Why haven't you done anything on it?"

"I don't know! I will though."

"When."

"When I'm ready."

"So let's do it!"

"I'm not ready..." He muttered, leading Tony to catch on to something the other man was hinting toward. "I get it. It's scary. Yah. Been there." He tapped the arc reactor in his chest as he inched closer to the other man. "When this happened, I lost it for a moment. Just a moment though. Couldn't be down too long, I was kinda held captive. Kinda. I mean, I could have escaped whenever, I just wasn't ready. I didn't want to run without a plan. So I stuck around, used what I had and built my first suit. Even after my escape...I wasn't ready. The press...Pepper...that other guy...everyone in the world...was about to know something I wasn't ready for them to know."

"I'm sure you have a point..."

"My point issss...this is me. This is my thing, and that...is yours." He tapped the book in the other man's hand, "That's your arc reactor. Just...y'know, without the reusable energy and the cool glow." Steve rolled his eyes as he stuck the book back in his pocket. He didn't want Tony to feel bad. He also didn't want to start out on a new life without first closing up his old one. He was sure that was something only he had on his mind, but he learned within a second, it wasn't. "Is it the old days that gotcha down Pops...is that it?" Steve looked to Tony, unable to hide the expression on his face. The other man bobbed his head a bit and backed away. "Thought so. You're the classic fish out of water...er...Captain out of time? I dunno. Point is...you don't wanna move forward because you weren't done. You weren't done with that old life. Was it a girl? Guy? What..."

"You could say that..."

"So it was a guy..."

"It's not what you think..."

"A girl? Guygirl? Gi'mme somethin' here Rodgers. I'm drowning. Come on."

"It was both..."

"Wowww...wowwow! So you had the hots for a girl...aaand a guy!"

"NO! No...just the girl."

"Well where is she? I'm sure she's still alive. Granted she'll be about 90 or so...lets look'er up!" Steve turned away from him in that moment and began to walk away. "Can't look up someone who's no longer living Stark. No matter how hard we try." He looked back at the man over his shoulder. "Last time I saw her I buried her, alright. So it's not that...not any more. It was...once."

"So what is it now Steve..." Tony asked as he approached slowly. "What? This other guy? The guy you say you didn't have the hots for but for some reason I think you secretly did."

"Why do you do that...?" Steve asked as he turned to him. "Why do you always run your mouth like that? What are you trying to pull?"

"If I'm pulling anything it's working because you've dropped your guard." Tony said with a smirk. He was winning. "You just seem like the kinda guy who would be into other guys..." He put his hands up, "Just saying! Don't shoot. That's just how it looks to me."

"Why does it look that way to you...why do you even care?"

"I just want you happy buddy! It's not the 1940's anymore! Guys can be into other guys, and I don't wanna see you suppressed! I want you to let your freak flag fly! Rainbow or otherwise! Is that so wrong?"

"Yes. Mostly because you think I'm the kinda guy who would be so close minded. But also because you come choked full of ulterior motives Stark, I know you."

"Know me because youuuuu...have a thing for me and you're suppressing it because you can't come to terms with your sexuality and your feelings for me?!"

"Do you want me to have feelings for you...?" It was quiet for a second then Tony let out a high pitched giggle as he pat the other man on the shoulder. "Oooohhhh Cap! You couldn't afford me." It was a nice deflection, but it failed. Though Steve was from another time, where men were men, he was open minded. He knew a guy back before his transformation. Everyone called him Marty but his name was Henry. Steve would sit with the guy on long nights at the bar. While the rest of the gang drank, he and Marty would sit out in the alley way and talk. Mostly Marty would go on and on about a girl he knew in Singapore. But one night, while at the peak of his intoxication he had planted a kiss on Steve that would have shaken any other man. When all was said and done Marty apologized profusely. Steve just laughed it off and told the drunk bastard not to worry. Looking back on it now Steve had to wonder about what that meant for him. A guy like that in a time like that in an era like that? And he didn't get upset? Granted Steve was never really quick to anger but still. It left him questioning things. He had already made up his mind way before Tony came sniffing around the camp. Steve had himself, or at least that...figured out. All he had to do now was sit back and watch Tony fall all over himself to cover his tracks. This was sure to be amusing. Why not stir the pot? After all, Tony did deserve a little rousing...

"Are you suggesting you're for sale Stark?"

"For sale? HAAH! You...you what? You wanna buy all this? You want a ticket to this ride buddy boy? You cant handle me!"

"I never said I wanted to handle you. I just asked if you were for sale..."

"You're messing with me now right? Is that what you're doing? Because what, I messed with you right?! That's clever Rodgers. I like this side of you."

"All I asked was if you were for sale. Why are you avoiding the answer? Its a simple yes or no Stark. What's wrong? Afraid? Afraid of my reaction?" Steve had the upper hand by now because Tony had gone into a stuttering fit that ended with him calling out to Jarvis and walking away. Here he was trying to get Steve to admit to something he himself was afraid of admitting to. Steve had himself a good hard laugh at this then turned and headed back down the ramp to the lower level where he could sit and finish that chapter in his book.

Before he turned the page to get to chapter 7 a loud crash came from the lab. Steve was about ready to call it quits on the whole thing anyway, it was causing him to nod off. Well, this had him up, alert and ready for action. He calmed down a bit when Bruce called from the lower levels, assuring everyone it was just something he had dropped. If Doctor Banner was around then that meant Tony was working with him. And if those two were together it would be not only easier but funnier if he were to be messed with. Steve rolled up the paperback and stuck it in his back pocket before heading down the series of ramps and stairs to get to the lab. He was already coming up with a plan. He punched in the numbers and waited for Jarvis to let him in. He slowly made his way over the threshold, clearly strutting.

Bruce looked up at him from behind his glasses then gave Tony a look. The other man caught on and looked up as well, to spot Steve. "You know the lab is no place for you."

"I know. I mean who in their right mind would want a science experiment in their lab that they can clearly run tests on..."

"is'is'is he messing with you right now because I...I cant tell..." Steve smirked as he crossed his arms, making sure to push his fists into his biceps, casing a bit of flexing...that Tony took note of quickly. "Yeah Bruce, he's messing with me...and its time he got the hell outta my lab. No one is running tests on anyone."

"Why not...I'm in peak physical condition, choked full of stamina...I could go all night long if you wanted...I'm strong...I could even lift you, suit and all...if you wanted...and lets not forget..." He grabbed at the bottom of his shirt and yanked it over his head, flexing his pectorals, "I...am physically-"

"Full of yourself. Yah, you are physically full of yourself." Tony snapped as he made his way around some equipment. He hid behind one of the screens and began to tap away on it, avoiding any eye contact that could be made with the Adonis. "Wwwwhaats...going on?" Bruce asked as he looked between the two of them. Steve chuckled then put his shirt back on. He pat Bruce on the shoulder and smiled. "I'll tell you when you're older son." And with that, he left the lab in a fit of giggles. Round two...went to him.

He was sitting at the table enjoying a victory sandwich a few hours later, when Tony burst into the kitchen in a fit of Hulk like rage. Steve looked up at him, one brow raised. "Stark." He snubbed him a bit, going back to the ham and cheese. Before he could take a bite his sandwich was slapped from his hands and it hit the floor in slow motion it seemed. Steve looked down at it as if he had just lost a loved one to cancer. "I just bitched slapped your fucking sandwich and ooooh my god if you tell me to watch my language this time I'll give you the worst Indian burn EVER!" Steve slowly looked up at the man with both brows raised now. "That was maybe the weirdest thing anyone has ever-"

"Shut up Rodgers!"

"Why the hell are you so mad right now? If anything I should be the one upset. That was a perfect sandwich. Everything was in its place. The mayonnaise spread on it evenly and-"

"Shut up about the sandwich! You know what you did!"

"No, please tell me..."

"Yoouuuuuuu! You came into MY LAB and messed with MY HEAD!"

"How so..."

"YOUKNOWWHATYOUDIDDAMNIT!"

"Tony, has anyone ever told you that you might have anger issues..." With that the said man let out a growl so hard it actually made Steve jump, just a little. From there Tony stormed out of the room, kicking over anything in his way, not to mention, once he saw Natasha, he grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her into the couch before storming into another room. She let out a laugh as she bounced back to her feet. She spotted Steve and joined him at the table. She looked down at the sandwich then back up at him with a look of mock pity. "Ooh, I'm so sorry Steve." She put a hand on his shoulder. "Was she special? Did she suffer?" Steve chuckled and shook his head. "What was all that rage about anyway?" She asked. He smiled bright as he leaned into her, ready to gossip. "Tony Ssstark...has a secret."

"Dish you queeny bitch."

"He has feelings...stirrings...for someone in the compound."

"Is it me? I see the way he looks at my butt. The same way I look at it every time I get out of the shower."

"You only wish Romanoff. I don't think you're his type."

"Blonds? Brunets? Fat, skinny, what!?"

"Male..."

Natasha's cheeks burned a hot molten red as a scream began its way up her body. When it reached maximum capacity the windows shattered. Steve wasn't phased and it made him laugh almost as loud. She finally got it out of her system and grabbed onto him roughly. "STARK?!" Steve nodded. Everything was coming true for this closet fangirl. Not only had Steve confided in her about his own sexuality, but now, he was spreading a rumor that may or may not have been true...and her tween sized brain was in overdrive. "I SHIP YOU GUYS SO HARD I'M SAILING TO EUROPE!" She screeched. Around anyone else this was not the Natasha she let people see. Two, count them, two people knew how she really was. Clint and most recently, Steve. "Can this be canon? PLEASE!" He laughed a bit as she shook him. "Canon? Nat you're confusing me!"

"Oh shut up, Tony is the one confused." Steve laughed hard at that then stood up. "Listen, not a word ok? Keep this to yourself. This is classified information, I'm sure you can handle it." She nodded, knowing full well just how secretive she could be. No one would find this out. She just had one issue...

"So...is this why they didn't work out. Him and Potts? I mean, I know they went on break recently...could this be why?"

"Possibly. But who can really say. Again, not a word Nat...I'm counting on you."

"Aye aye Cap!"

It was time to do some investigating. Something he was honestly good at. When he wanted to know something he would retrieve the information by any means. Be it breaking into a top secret room...or a top secret mind. The trick here was to gain some form of trust. Tony had that with Banner for a few reasons. Steve and Tony didn't have much in common and honestly there were times where he thought the nightlight of a man hated him. First thing was first, get that guy drunk.

Steve himself couldn't but he was pretty good at faking it. He dawned a hoodie and was in the middle of a liquor store trying to pick something special out just for Tony. He was offered help but the lady who worked there smelled like cigarettes and barbeque for some reason so Steve sent her away politely. He found the perfect bottle, drying up every ounce of his folding money. This had better be worth it...because his next paycheck was two weeks away.

He made his way up the stairs, big brown paper bag in hand, fighting his keys for attention. The bag won and his keys hit the ground and bounced. He sighed and bent down at the best moment. The door opened and there the target stood, getting the perfect view of the most perfect full moon. "RODGERS YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!" He stood so fast the bottle slipped and plummeted. He stopped it with his foot, catching it on the tiptoe. He looked up at Tony and let out a giggle. "Honest, that was an accident." He twitched his foot, sending the bottle into the air, then catching it and holding it out. "Peace?" He said sheepishly. Tony eyed the bottle then looked back at the other man. "Where did you get the money for that..."

"Your wallet..."

"I hope that was a joke..." He moved aside and let the man enter before shutting the door. "Seriously, that's not cheap and you get paid about as good as a Mini Mart sacker." Steve eyed him over his shoulder as he set the bottle down on the coffee table. "That's a little harsh Stark, come on...drop the wall." He held up two fingers in another attempt at peace. "Honest...come on..." He wiggled his hand around playfully, making the peace sign dance. Tony let out a short sigh and dropped his shoulders a bit in a more calm manor. "Fine, whatever, peace. You do know I have a stocked bar right..." Steve turned as Tony pointed to the little section. Every ounce of energy drained from him as he leaned backwards with a groan. Tony began to pat himself down as if he were searching for something. When he failed to find it he began to turn this way and that. "You did take my wallet didn't you?! You hairy little thief!" Steve looked to him as he crossed his arms. "Stark you don't have a wallet, you have a checkbook. Second...Hairy? Do I need to take my shirt off again?"

"Don'tyoudare!" Tony snapped as he pointed at him. "Don't...you dare. Youuuuu just keep your clothes on mister..." He wagged the finger then picked up where he left off and looked around the room. "Why do you need your money right now anyway?"

"Gunna pay you back for the bottle of..." He looked to the table and tilted his head. "Jim Bean? When have you ever seen me drink Jim Bean...?"

"Its the thought that counts right? I have actually never seen you drink it and thought maybe you would like the change." Tony listened to him with a look on his face that screamed insecurity. "You trying to get me drunk Rodgers..." Steve had to chuckle. He grabbed up the bottle and unwrapped the top. "Me? Trying to get you drunk? No sir." He unscrewed the top and put the bottle to his lips. "Trying to get me drunk." Tony watched with wide eyes as Captain Squeaky Clean downed half the bottle without even making a face...

When he thought he had gained a bit of trust he handed the bottle over as he wiped his mouth. Tony took it from him gently, his eyes full of suspicion. "What the hell did I just whiteness?"

"Uuuhhh...what? I just took a sip!" Tony's brow rose a bit as he looked at the half empty big bottle. A sip...right. He looked to Steve again as he brought the bottle to his own lips now. Steve smiled warmly and held out his hands, gesturing for Tony to go ahead and let loose. Tony wasn't one to drink from the bottle but there was something shaming about this. Damning almost. If Steve fucking Rodgers could drink it from the head then he had to now. He tipped the bottle and took a swig then jerked it from his mouth and shivered as he made a face. Steve smirked. "Look at that, you're a big boy now..." Tony shot him a look before once more going into a fit due to aftershock.

Before long the bottle was almost empty and Steve was mirroring Tony's drunken body language and speech. This was his only way of gaining trust. He and Bruce shared numbers and science, but not drinks. Tony leaned in as he grabbed up the bottle. He slumped back onto the couch and eyed Steve, who was smiling like an idiot. "Y'no'h...sometimes...I wanna punch you in your perfect teeth." Steve sat up as best he could without breaking character. "You think my teeth are perfect? How...nnnnice of you to notice. I think...listen to me," He grabbed Tony by the face and forced him to look his way, "Listen to me, I think...your ears are perfect...so we're even."

"I have little ears."

"I like them! I dooo! Awww Tony come on, they're cute."

Tony pointed a usable finger at the man without letting go of the bottle. "Youuu're cute...ppppsssshhhhhhhhhhhh! I din'say that, ok. I think Nat has a thing for me, and it would...cccccrrrush her...very...soul...so...so just...between you and me..." He put the bottle to his lips, "I don'like...girls." He took a swig and coughed a bit as he slammed the bottle down. Mission accomplished...so far. All he had to do was get a little more information then put the poor bastard to bed. "Is this whiskey?!" He giggled out as he took the bottle in for inspection. "It makes me a little loose..."

"It is..." Tony furrowed his brow a bit, "Loose how, you mean in the bowels? Roy'dersss...buddy...TMI..."

"Nooo...not that kinda loose." He looked to Tony slowly, pretending to see him through drunk eyes. Tony sat up a bit, with a wiggle. "Youuu mean...to tell me...you don't get wh'ey...whiskey shits?"

"That...is what I am telling you. I dooo not, get whiskey shits. No..." Tony sat up more and leaned in, a bit too close. "Mmmrrh...so...eeehm...its more of a...sexual looseness...you are in fact telling me you are sexually open...aahheerrmmm...right now...that's what you're telling me..." Steve looked to him and the two were face to face, so much so that Steve could feel Tony's hot breath on his lips. He was either starting to believe that or...in this moment...he was beginning to feel...a little loose. "Too far." He said swiftly as he stood up, causing Tony to go forward.

Steve caught him and hoisted him up over his shoulder. Tony propped his elbow up on the other man's butt and held his own head up using this method. He tried his best to look back at Steve. "Wha's too far? Me too far, I'm too far? Thought you were loose!" He let out a drunken laugh before Steve started toward his room. Tony watched the floor move under him...then started to focus on the fact that his stomach was pressing into the other man's shoulder. "Steve...eerhm...if you're taking me to bed I need...to make a pit stop...trust me, warm whiskey vomit is not romantic...Steve..." The world shifted and he latched onto the other man's perfect little bottom. Steve stopped and set him on his feet, which did not make things any better, only worse, which his boots soon found out. He sighed and looked down. "Tony, I'm so sorry. This was-" Tony stood upright, cutting him off with a finger to his lips...and cheek...and eye. "Ssshhhppphhhh...Shh. Its ok, I can have those cleaned...and youuuuu...can take me to bed...now, ri'now. Because..." He began to whisper, "I...am in...ttthe mooody mood mood...mood..." Steve was about to confess to everything but found himself catching the poor man before he went down.

The next morning was neither fun nor successful for either men. Tony finally began to stir around just before noon. He entered the kitchen in nothing more than some old Ninja Turtle sleep pants. Steve was at the table with a new and improved sandwich. He looked up and choked on the bite he had in his mouth. He swallowed hard and stood, letting his lunch go ignored. "My god...Stark, what-"

"Coffee."

"Coffee. Sure thing..." Steve rushed to the counter and began to make a fresh pot. "This is all my fault Tony, I'm sorry. I...I really need to tell you something..."

"Yeah I need to tell you something too..." Steve looked to him in such a hopeful way. It went unnoticed. "Shut the hell up." Tony finished. Steve nodded and put the grounds in the filter. He had never really seen Tony disheveled...or shirtless. They hadn't gotten that close. He had already taken note of the way the Arc Reactor sat in the other man's chest. How it protruded out just a bit, causing a bit of an indention in the skin around it. He filled up the chamber and turned on the maker. Tony was already sitting at the table, putting his head in his hands. "How...are you not...hung over...?" He asked in such a groggy way. Natasha was passing through the room and took this as a cue to answer. "Oh, Steve can't get drunk." And just like that, she was already in the next room. Steve's entire body stiffened up as he watched Tony slowly look at him. He put his hands up in surrender and opened his mouth, ready to sputter out an apology. He didn't get the chance, because Tony stood and got right in his face.

His eyes were narrow, dark and full of rage. He never spoke, not a word. He just shook his head then turned and left the room, leaving Steve to a fresh pot of coffee and a half eaten sandwich. He sighed hard and turned off the pot. "Good going Rodgers." He muttered to himself as he pulled the pot out and put it to his lips. Only he could handle a full pot of scalding coffee. Even if not for that, he would have still punished himself for his lack of grace in this matter. That trust he thought he had was gone now and he was sure there would never be a window open again. Unfortunately this did not mean he was giving up. This only meant he had much more work piled up. The mission just got a little harder was all.

He finished his sandwich, opting to let things cool down. He even took a little time to shower and put on something that wasn't covered in whiskey stench. This had given the cool down time an hour to take affect. He pulled on a new shirt, one he had actually, officially bought for himself. As he buttoned up the last three he was making his way up to the lab doors. He looked up right as the last button found its place. "Hey big guy...what are you doing? Did he kick you out? Did you break something? What are you doing just standing here?" He moved to the side so he could punch in the code, but the big green bodyguard blocked him. He looked up again. "Easy Banner. I just wanna talk to'em."

"No."

"Bruce, come on-"

"NO BANNER!"

"You're being a really bad friend!"

"Hulk good friend." He muttered as he sat in front of the door, letting Rodgers know...he wasn't getting in. "Ok, what's it gunna take Jolly Green. Huh? You want some glow'y metal, what's that stuff called? Pladium? Pludium? Plut...plat...whatever..."

"Cant bribe."

"Oh come on! Did he pay you? What is it, I'll double it!" The only thing Hulk did was let out a snort which resulted in snot...which he promptly licked off his upper lip. Steve made a face. "That always works when Tony says it. Hey, look...what if I got you some baseball cards? You like those!"

"Hulk no like b'sball."

"You gotta like something."

"Smashing."

"Of course. Wait hey! You wanna smash me?!"

"...Little..."

"Smash me! Go on, gi'mme your best shot pally! Yah! Just...just rough me up...kick me through a wall, whatever you want! If I let you beat me up, will you let me in?" Hulk's eyes darted back and forth a bit as he used his tongue to dig into one of his nostrils. He gave it some thought then looked to Steve with a big wide grin...

Tony looked up as the door opened. "Thought I told you not to..." His words caught in his throat as he watched a battered and broken Steve enter the lab, hunched over and trying to find a stable crutch to lean on. He stood fast and rushed to the other man's side in a panic. "What the hell? What's going on?! Is there some kinda threat I wasn't called on? Do I need to suit up?!" Steve let out a broken chuckle then allowed the other man to help him into a chair. "Naaah...this? I'm fine! Just playing with Hulk! Nothing out of the ordinary! I Like...how you came to my aid though." Tony jerked away from him suddenly and stepped back. "Better hang that notion up before it starts billing you...I did no such thing." Steve looked up at him with a smirk, knowing damn well what just happened. He also knew Jarvis was prone to recording everything in the lab. He would put this blackmail in his back pocket for now and use it when he needed to. "Ok Stark, maybe I just wanted to think that."

"Why would you want...you know what, you're a sick little monkey and I don't wanna talk to you. In fact, I don't want you in the lab, security breech. Jarvis..."

"Sir...you never made such a rule."

"Bingo. Thanks Jarvis, you're a real pal."

"Don't talk to him like that. Furthermore, get outta my lab before I blast you out." Steve looked to him with a little smile. "Come on Stark...peace. Ok? I just took a beating so I could get in here." Tony jerked his head back a bit, letting it tilt some. "Peace. No, see there is no peace between us anymore. You destroyed that when you lied to me. I trusted you. Not to mention..." He leaned in a bit and began to whisper. "I told you things...things not even Jarvis knows."

"I know everything Sir."

"Mute. Seriously, how could you do that?" Steve put his hands up once more in an attempt at surrender. "I know saying sorry right now would only get me tossed out on my fanny."

"Say ass, like an adult..."

"Tony..." He stopped himself because he had begun to laugh a bit. Tony didn't catch on or he had missed the joke all together. He was even looking around now in confusion, searching for the punch line. He finally gave up and looked to the grinning idiot. "Ok...lets hear it. What's so funny...?"

"Ass."

"Ass?" Steve let out another laugh, so hard he had to grip his side to keep his rib from floating away. "Its the way you say it! There's a weird hint of some kinda accent or something, and I just picked up on it, and for some reason, it gave me the giggles...I'mmm sorry Tony, I am...I know there's nothing funny about this...I just...I...heh! Say it...one more time!" Tony was staring at this man like he just grew a second head. He put his hands up now. "Who are you and where is Steve." He grabbed the man's bruising face and looked him over. "Loki? Is that you? Just blink twice. If its you, I'll send ya back out there to the beastie!" Steve was laughing through the pain as Tony jerked his head around, back and forth. To him, this was actually kind of pleasing. It was cute...and so unlike Tony.

He finally let him go and crossed his arms, blocking the band name on his shirt. "Seriously Steve, what the hell is wrong with you..." The other man looked up at him and again let off a smile. "I know what I did was wrong." He scooted to the edge of the chair and dug his book out of his pocket. He held it up and flipped a few pages. "Got a pen?" Tony grumbled, but gave in and offered the pencil behind his ear. Steve began to scribble on the page, crossing out the word Nirvana. "There. I crossed something off my list." He looked up. "What's next? Rocky? Is it some kinda candy?"

"He's a boxer."

"Oh, got it...well, hey, I like boxing! This is perfect! What do we do? Do we fight him or..."

"He's not...a real boxer Steve, its a movie, well...a few movies."

"So lets watch'em! We can rent them...along side Star Wars, if you want."

"I do not want. Steve what are you doing?! Seriously!"

"Stark...I'm finishing my list."

"Well good for you. Get the hell outta my lab and go do whatever it is old as fuck guys do with second chances."

"Oh, that's on the list buddy..." Tony was brought back down off his horse that was ever so high. He watched Steve turn a few pages then took the book when it was handed to him. He looked at the page then lowered it. "Get a tattoo?"

"Under that." He corrected. Tony looked back at the page then lowered it. "Go on a date?"

"Bingo."

"Well you let me know how that turns out old timer." He said as he tossed the book back at him. Steve just chuckled at the fact that Tony was missing the point. "Alright. I can knock a few of these out all at once. Lets see. Thai food...then movies. Rocky and Star Wars...all with my date."

"Mh. Good luck. Door's that way."

"Just waiting on you." Tony slowly turned back to Steve with that look again, like Steve was just sprouting heads left and right. Steve inched to the edge of the seat and sat there in comical anticipation. "Yeeah. You. So...maybe put on something pretty."

"Oh fuck you."

"Language." Steve sat back now and put his arms behind his head casually. "No, seriously...you're wearing that?"

"What's wrong with what I have on?" Tony barked as he lowered his arms. Steve just wanted to get a look at the band name. AC/DC. "Actually, nothing. Now that I look at it. Yeah you look presentable." He stood up and adjusted his shirt. This caused one of the top buttons to come undone...and fall off. He let out a sigh and watched it hit the floor. "Judging me on what I have on, have you looked in a mirror?"

"Hey, easy. I did just take a beating." He muttered as he poked at the little thread that once held that button. Tony had to blink a few times so he could clear up his mind. "You...let Banner beat the shit outta you...for what now?"

"To get in here."

"All so you could ask me out on a date..."

"Eehhh...no. That's just how it turned out. Honestly I had no idea what I was gunna say or do. I just wanted to get to you so we could talk." He looked up at the other man with a smile on his now chubby cheeks. "If you want, I can leave, honest this time. No argument. I'll skedaddle."

"Skedaddle?"

"Too old fashioned? Vamoose? Is that better?"

"Why are you worried about it anyway?"

"I dunno. Guess I just...wanna fit in. I was never really good at it." Tony pointed a finger at him as he watched him stand. "You're trying to appeal to my humanity. Joke's on you I ain't got any!" Steve chuckled and slapped his judging finger away. "I'm just trying to carry on with my life Stark, can you say the same..." The sting from that question got Tony right in the bone, and Steve could see it all over his face. "I'm sorry."

"No...no you have every right I guess. I've become a shut in. I just...Every time I turn around there's more work or there's more missions. I have this plate...see...and its full right...then along comes the waitress, who, by the way, is not at all attractive..." Steve chuckled and crossed his arms. Tony continued, "And she's got this cart with her right...and she's just wheeling it up to my table in this ominous way, the wheels squeaking and everything...and its just me here. No one else. So instead of this witch putting food on someone else's plate, no she puts it on mine." Steve had become enchanted almost as he listened to Tony suddenly explain something so deep to him. He had even lowered his arms and moved in a bit. "I had no idea." He said softly as he put a hand on the other man's shoulder. "Honestly Stark, I really didn't know. I'll get out of your way. If I could, I would help but...lets be honest, numbers scare me." He smiled, hoping Tony would at least pick up on the humor. Tony, as well, gave a little smile. Success. "But...if there is anything I can do. Lift something heavy...get you a drink, whatever...I would." Tony looked up with his eyes to make some contact with him. "Scouts Honor." Steve joked. "You name it; I'll have your back."

That, alone almost had Tony misty eyed. It seems easy from the outside. Tony always looked as though he had it all together. Clearly he was misleading everyone. Well now Steve knew the truth. And he planned to run with it. If there was one thing he had going for him, it was his honor. The two men were face to face at this point, both exposed in one way or another. All system seemed to be a go for Steve so he stepped closer and put a hand on Tony's shoulder. "Listen Stark..." He held up his book of lists. "This? Is yours...I don't need it anymore." Tony took the book slowly and looked it over in confusion. When he looked up he spoke. "Why? I mean, how else are you gunna keep track of things you gotta catch up on?!" Steve smiled, noting that Tony had fallen right into the trap. "That's where you come in pal. You are my list." Loyal, foolhardy and maybe a little Stupid, that was Steve Rodgers. You could call him many things, but a coward had better not come up. Once he was done making sure Tony had a place in his book he made sure Tony had a place in his life, sealing the deal in that moment with a kiss. Taking note...Stark's lips were much better than Marty's.

Spoo: THE END BITCHES!

Tony: Not bad for a beginner.

Spoo: NAUGHTY CHAIR! *Cracks whip*


	2. Acid Mist

Spoot: Uuhhh, I'm sorry….

Tony: Cap you might wanna avoid this one…

Steve: Why? What could go wrong!

Acid Mist or, the Day Tony Found Out He Was a Top

The hall closet was dark enough to keep the occupants from getting distracted and empty enough to fit them both. There was a weird seductive silence in the air making the light breathing sounds almost erotic to both of them. The had only done this one other time, in the meeting room, during a meeting in fact. Steve knew how to keep his cool under any situation but that day really tested him. He had to not only keep quiet, but brush off every erecting feeling that Stark had been putting on him. Tony liked to call them Hand Jobs, but Steve wasn't sure why. He just knew that this was the best they could come up with because Steve wasn't ready for the whole kit and caboodle. Tony didn't mind getting him off in the middle of a meeting. It was honestly funny to him by the end of it. The only thing he took note of was the sudden abrupt stop Steve put to it…right before he exploded.

Now here they were, in the closet a few feet away from the living room full of other members, and Steve was pressed up against Tony's chest, pants down receiving a reach around. This time he could just let the passion take over. The first time was a little awkward and unfair, as Tony had sprung it on him while they sat next to each other. This time Steve could actually make a little noise and let his body react to the touch. And maybe just maybe Steve wouldn't stop. Every sound he made had Tony trying to draw him closer into his body. Right before the inevitable…Tony's worst fear came true. Steve forced him to let go. He turned to face his partner to speak, but before he could Tony capture his lips in a deep numbing kiss. He broke it and held his hands up. "TonyTonywait….." He whispered in one breath. Tony just pulled him in. "Tony don't wait…come on…let me finish the job Rodgers…" Steve jerked away again and pulled his pants up, causing Tony to sigh. "I can't let you do that Stark….I have my reasons."

"How are you not blue ballen' right now?!"

"I dunno what that means and would you keep it down…"

"Oh I get it…..you're scared. Scared someone is gunna hear you in here…WITH ANOTHER GUUUYYY…" Steve cupped a hand over his partner's mouth then shoved him from the closet. Everyone looked up at them then all went back to what they were doing. The only one confused was Thor, having not been around for the initial hookup in the first place. "Wwwhat were you two doing in there…" He asked as he got closer. Steve's face was turning red for two reasons. One…he forgot all about the party that was going on and two…he was still…at attention under his zipper. So far no one had noticed other than Tony, who was trying to adjust himself at this point.

Thor watched the two for a moment, then held up a hand. "I'm…confused here. What is this called where you are from?" He turned to the other members and waited. "A hookup." Natasha said. "Hanky Panky." Clint laughed out. "Uuuhhh…I got one…ok….ohh! I know. Saluting the flag!" Bruce called out, which caused everyone, including Tony…to laugh. Steve watched everyone joke around and it infuriated him. He was never one to just fly off the handle so when he did everyone got quiet and looked his way. Tony put a hand on his shoulder but promptly got it slapped away as Steve stormed off. Natasha shot him a look then gestured with her eyes in the direction he went. Tony shook his head, catching on quick. Last thing he wanted to do with his pants full of meat….was fight over this. "So you're gunna just let it boil over?" She snapped as she sat up to face him.

Tony let out a long hard sigh, rolling his eyes to add on to his hatred of the situation. He turned, at Natasha's order, and left, following the trail of his scorned partner. He knocked on the bedroom door and was met by just Steve's head. "I don't wanna talk to you." With that he shut the door hard. "I know. Hey, I get it. This is my fault. I know that. Come on….I'm sorry….if you come out…..we can go back to my place….." Tony smiled as the door opened slowly. Steve loved going to the tower. There was something about being in Tony's personal space that pleased him. "Come on little fella….come on out…." Tony teased as he backed up a bit. "I won't hurt'cha…come on…." Steve rolled his eyes but followed him out into the hall and away from the party. He was so mad at them at this point he didn't care if they knew he was gone or not.

They had made one pit stop before actually going to the tower. Tony wanted…contraceptives….but Steve quickly informed him of just how stupid that was considering their situation. Neither of them were able to…have children. And they were both clean. Not to mention…if Steve had used them, they would have failed in a heartbeat.

Tony tossed his keys toward the coffee table then promptly ignored that they missed the mark and hit the floor. Steve walked over and picked them up then turned. He was shocked to come face to face with Tony.

"Pants. Off."

"Is that why you brought me here?!"

"No, wait sorry. I'm skipping ahead. That's me, my oopsie." He took Steve's hand and pulled him over to the couch. He pushed on him and got no reaction at first. Steve picked up on what he was trying to do and felt sorry for him, so he plopped into a sitting position then watched him sit as well. "Tony what's going…" He was cut off with a kiss. A deep one. A hard one. He broke it just as fast and pushed Tony back. "What are you trying to pull?"

"Your pants off."

"Tony….lets just keep it clean."

"You tell me why you won't let me finish the job and I'll leave you alone forever if you want. Please, enlighten me." Steve sighed and slouched a bit. "You could get hurt."

"What? Do you go out swinging? Gunna knock me out after?"

"No, Stark it's not like that." He looked to the other man with a desperate expression. Tony sat back a bit and nodded. "Ok, fine, I get it. You're scared of something and I understand that." They met eyes and both seemed to smile. This happened a lot and neither of them noticed. Steve sat back now as well, relaxing. Comfortable with Tony's understanding. That's all he really wanted. "But you're tiptoeing big man…" Tony said as he pointed a finger at his partner. He took Tony's hand and inspected every inch of it. "I'm not scared….by the way. Y'know. Of having someone else find out I'm with a man. And the team already knows about us at this point. I'm just trying to protect you."

"From your dangerous penis." Tony gripped Steve's hand in his and leaned into him, getting in his face. "It doesn't scare me Steve." He was reaching up to make some physical contact when Steve grabbed his other hand now. He was staring at this hand, infatuated with it. Tony watched him silently at first, and then sucked in a breath when Steve kissed his palm. He looked to the other with his eyes, and Stark picked up on it. He smirked and moved in for the kill. He forced Steve to lie back, gently. He crawled over him and began to kiss on his neck. This was the farthest they had gone considering. So far they hadn't really faced each other. Steve gripped onto Tony before forcing him to stop…again.

"You invite me in with that look in your eye then stop? You're fucking with me right?"

"Language." He let out a huff as he sat up. "I'm sorry; I just don't think I can go there with you yet…"

"I have never had this much trouble…" Steve shot him a look then nudged him playfully. "Seriously Tony, I'm sorry. I swear I'll get there." Little did he know, he was already there. Tony knew. He was just biding his time. He stood, patting Steve's face, before walking off toward the minibar. "Drink? No of course not. Last time you took advantage of me." Steve giggled and got situated on the couch. He looked over the scattered newspapers on the table and moved them around a bit. Tony made his way back over and handed a glass to his partner. "Sparkling Cider. Honest." Steve took the glass and smiled. "And for the gentleman?" He asked playfully. Tony sipped then spoke. "Oooh scotch." He sat next to his partner then looked over the newspapers now as well. Steve watched him with eyes full of lust. He hugged the glass to his chest as he looked over the stubble around Tony's jaw line. His eyes drifted down to his back. That arch he had was starting to drive him crazy. "Damn stocks are down." Tony barked.

Steve came back to reality so fast he crushed the glass in his hand comically. Tony watched the shards and liquid hit his floor. From there he looked up at Steve and smirked. "You made a mess…."

"I'm sorry…."

"There's only one way to make this up to me…"

"A'and that is…." Tony leaned in, putting his lips to Steve's ear. Hot breath was now mixed with a whisper as Tony spoke. "Let…me finish the job…" Steve's body stiffened up and the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. He nodded before he even knew what was happening. Tony chuckled into his ear, causing more hot sweet breath to brush his neck and cheek. He stood then pulled the other man up. "I'll give you….'till I finish this drink…to make up your mind. If I finish it before you can speak, it's a go." From there he started to sip without even taking a breath. Steve began to search his mind. Putting together scenarios and options. He was cut off from this when Tony let out a little sigh. He watched as he put the glass down, and right then knew…it was now or never. "Ok…" He said softly, letting Tony take him by the hand and escort him to the bedroom.

His heart was pounding. There was something Tony didn't know. Something he had yet to explain. There was a hidden danger lurking inside his body thanks to the super soldier juice. A danger that could eat away at a person's skin if contacted. He was breathing rapidly as Tony shut the bedroom door. "Ok but listen….please, I gotta tell you…"

"I've seen it. I know how big it is. Again, not scared." Tony scoffed, putting a hand to his partner's face. He ran his thumb across that cold bottom lip. Steve grabbed his hand and made him pay attention. "Ok, great, I'm glad. But that's not it." His words caught in his throat as the other man put a hand over his groin. "Just kiss me…." Tony muttered. He inched his face close, putting his lips centimeters from Steve's. "It's fine. We're safe….you and me…just us….now….kiss me." Steve had actually never done that. Tony was the one who initiated any physicality in the relationship. Other than that first true kiss, Steve stayed back. It was awkward but he pecked Stark's lips then looked away. "Awww? Was? Was that it? Steve that was…adorable." He backed up a bit and twirled his hands around. "Ok, ok one more time, this time I actually want you to touchdown and park…come on…you can do this."

Steve looked to him in irritation. He wasn't serious but annoyed for sure. "Stark, this is awkward ok…I dunno what I'm doing. I'm not you, ok." Tony approached him, putting an arm over his shoulder, causing their chests to touch. "No one can be me. I'm not even me…" Steve put a hand over the arc reactor and just…stared at the glow between his fingers. "You'll get there Pretty Boy." He put a hand under the other's chin and lifted his head. "It's fine. I got this." He leaned in and captured those lips. He deepened it as he slowly pushed the distracted man onto the bed. He crawled over him, never breaking the kiss. Tony had skill Steve noticed. It was almost intimidating. The kiss broke and Tony pulled his shirt up, getting stuck somewhere around his nose. "MMererh…little…help here." Steve giggled and helped with that. "At least I'm good for something." He said as he tossed both shirts on the floor. "What's with the layers?"

Tony didn't answer; he just went back in for some love. He started at the lips but moved on to the neck, leaving Steve to fend for himself for a second. "Should I be doing something?" Tony sat up a bit and looked to him. "Have you ever touched a penis that wasn't your own?" Steve shook his head slowly, almost scared of what was to come next. "Mh…well…there's something you can do. you wanna?" The hair rose again on the back of his neck. Tony recognized that look on his face, causing him to smirk. Steve was saying yes without uttering a word. He leaned in and put those lips to his ear, whispering, "Undo my zipper Cap….."

"Whu'what…."

"You heard me. You know how. You do it all the time. Here….I'll show you." Tony reached down and slowly lowered Steve's zipper. "How'bout that…." Steve's face was starting to get hot while he watched the other man slip his hand into the little pocket between zippers. Even hotter while that bastard began to feel around. His heart almost stopped when he realized something horrid…

"Oooh…what's this? Steve you're a little…ok…why is it burning…." Tony jerked his hand out and inspected the little bit of creamy mess on his fingers, eating away at his skin. Steve panicked as he sat up. "I'M SORRY! I TRIED TO TELL YOU!" He covered his eyes with his hands and let out a whimper. "It's…my…stuff…its dangerous." He whimpered harder when he felt Tony leave the bed and exit the room. He wanted, in that moment to just…go back under the ice and stay there forever. It wasn't just skin his fluid could eat through. He found out the hard way during a long mission in Moscow. He swore never to speak of it again. He looked up as Tony came back into the room drying his hands. Fear was still gripping him but it faded as that man crawled back on top of him. "You're…not mad?"

"Mad? No, I'm interested now. this just means our roles are reversed. Hmm. Must be hard to keep up with underwear…." Steve looked a bit confused so Tony continued. "You…will not be the top here. I kinda don't wanna be eaten from the inside out. I like my prostate, it's where my babies live." Steve made the weirdest face he had ever made but listened anyway. "I'm gunna hafta take over. I dunno how you feel about that." Again, quietly confused Steve furrowed his brow. "I'll…be the one….um….doing the drilling." His eyes widened when he heard this. "WAIT! WHAT?!"

"I'll still get you off; I'll just need a vibraniam glove."

"Tony no!" This made the said man laugh hard. He reached up and put his arms around Steve's neck. "Relax, we'll take it slow. I won't do anything you aren't ready for. Just know….I'm a grower, not a shower." Steve rolled his eyes and plopped his head down on Tony's shoulder. "I just…dunno if this is something I'm comfortable with right now…"

"Can I try something…?" Steve looked up at him, trusting him for the most part. He nodded then moved back as Tony hovered over him. "You trust me." Steve nodded. "You sure…" There was another nod. With this confirmation Tony put a hand down the other's pants, flicking the button open and letting them slide down a bit. He kept a keen eye on his partner, making sure he would be ready to stop if Steve lost interest. He moved his hand around and put it down the tighty whities now. So far Steve only seemed nervous, but nothing more.

He maneuvered a few fingers in between the canyon and pressed on a sweet spot…causing Steve, for the first time ever…to actual moan a bit. "Oh yeah. You're gunna take to this like apple pie and baseball…" Steve was breathing hard; shocked he had actually made that noise. He slowly looked to Tony and…something in him snapped. Like a lock off a chain. He grabbed Stark roughly and pulled him in, wrapping legs around the man's hips. He was…grinding against him. It was almost animalistic. He wanted more of whatever Tony just did. He wanted it harder…and deeper. Tony chuckled as he started to undo his own pants, finding it hard to do while between them both. He got everything open and started grinding against Steve now as well, causing the man to gasp for air. "Jesus, Dorito, if you're this worked up now, I hate to see you when you come undone…"

Steve looked up at him as he tried to catch his breath. Tony took this time to actually pull his pants down, exposing himself fully. Steve blinked and looked down. "You don't wear…." His eyes widened. It was perfect. Not at all what he thought. He always pictured another man's penis would look more…horrific. "Nah, I go commando. I was never big on boxers. Yah, take it in. Good right? Hey…Steve you ok?"

"That's going inside…my…." Steve's voice trailed off into a tiny mumbled. Tony cracked up and leaned in. "Yeah…whenever you're ready…"

"I'mready!" He answered so quick he threw Tony for a loop. "Well shit Rodgers!" He laughed out. He reached over and began to pull on his partner's pants. "Also lose the shirt; the pecks give me a stiffy." Steve grabbed up a hunk of cloth and ripped the shirt clean from his body. "Oh ga'damn…" Tony muttered in a tiny breath. Steve reached up and grabbed the back of his partner's head and yanked him down in a rough kiss. Tony didn't complain. He just went with it and began to slowly yank down the other's pants, taking the underwear with them. He pulled away as he broke the kiss. "There he is. Hey there soldier." He leaned in and smiled. "You bit me you know." Steve watched as Tony stroked him gently, cautious to keep away from the fresh fluid bubbling up. When he was done teasing he looked to Steve. "Last chance to back out." Steve was in a haze for a second and couldn't understand. Tony hovered over him gently and kissed his neck as he spoke in unison. "If you're scared…mmh….you can back out….nn'kay…because I don't want you to….be uncomfortable." Steve just shook his head slowly. Unable to do much else at this point. He wanted it. He needed it…and it had to be soon.

"If you're sure." Tony whispered into his neck. He kicked his pants off then helped Steve with his. He got his partner into position, on his back, legs up a bit. He gave him a look and once more…made sure this was happening. Steve confirmed it by wrapping his legs around the other's hips once more. Tony smirked and inched closer, touching the spot with the tip of his member. Steve met eyes with him, right as the penetration took place. His head rolled back like a whip as he shut his eyes. It hurt for a second but soon the pain was taken over by that pleasure.

He gripped the bed sheets while Tony picked up momentum. "You don'know….how long I've been waiting for this…" He muttered as he hunkered down, pushing himself deeper inside. This maneuver had Steve gasping for air a bit. Tony leaned in, making sure to avoid Steve's bubbling member. "This good? I can stop…" Steve shook his head, unable to even open his eyes. "You sure? You ok? Steve, look at me…" He put a hand over the man's cheek, caressing it gently. Steve finally found himself and glared at the other man in a rage. "Why did you stop!?" Tony giggled as he sat upright, grabbing Steve by the hips and moving him into a better position. "So you're good?"

"Yes! Now make with the dirty stuff!"

"Ooohhh….the dirty stuff huh…." Tony wiggled a bit, causing a fiery sensation to erupt from the inside. Again Steve threw his head back as he sucked his breath back into his lungs. Tony began again, making sure to pause after each inward thrust, hitting and lingering on that pressure point. That silence was returning to the air. It was just them. Just breathing and soft moaning. Mostly from Steve in the beginning, Tony only joining soon after, unable to hold it in. There were only a few sounds Steve had ever heard the other man make. He knew them all by now. There were grunts, sighs and gasps. Grunts were if he was tired, distracted, or hurt. Sighs were clear. He was fed up. And a gasp was farley new. He would only let that out if Steve did something a bit, strange and he was seeing it for the first time.

Before long there was a grunt, unmistakable. Tony hunched over, arching his back without breaking connection. "Roll…." He chocked out. Steve opened his eyes and looked up. He thought, in that moment, Tony was hurt. He knew that grunt. "Wha'swrong…Tony, what, are you ok?" He sat up a bit, causing his tip to touch his partner's bellybutton. Tony jerked and started wiping off the fluid as quickly as he could. He stopped Steve from saying anything about it. "Roll." He said again as he spun his hand around. Steve began to move. It was hard, mostly because they were still connected. "I don't understand."

"You will." Tony's breath was catching in his throat. This had Steve a little worried…at first. Before he could ask what was going on, Tony began to pound into him harder than ever. His arms gave out and his head hit the bed comically. He even went as far as to shoot his partner a look, that went ignored. He gripped the sheets again, fighting something on the inside that was starting to rise from everywhere. He quickly realized what Tony was doing. He was finishing the job. Just…cautiously. With Steve in this position he was free to release every bit of built up…everything. Tony was already almost there, which was why he flipped him over.

Steve could feel Tony's chest plate on his back. He moved a bit, so he could position his head to look up. He found Tony's face. The man had his head tucked down, brow on Steve's back, eyes shut tight. He was fully invested and no longer in reality. He turned his head a bit, looking away as he let out a cute little grunt. Once the contact was broke, Steve's concentration returned to his own body. He felt something twitch so he looked down between his legs. He watched…himself…closely…right before getting a face full…

He let out a groan, mostly disgust but there was a hint of passionate song in there. He rubbed his face on the sheets, knowing damn well they would be gone in a millisecond. He just wanted his own…mess…off his face. When he was done he looked back at himself and narrowed his eyes. Granted it felt…amazing. But he also felt betrayed by the little soldier. Tony let out a grunt, causing him to switch focus. "Stark…you alright back there?"

"Yeah…just…..can't….ummm…." Steve chuckled and pulled away, causing Tony to fall forward with a yelp. Steve caught him before he went face first into the corroding bed sheets. "It's alright Tony. I got it." The man was trying to catch his breath. He looked to Steve in confusion. "I'll finish the job…" Tony had to smirk. He was so never letting this go. He grabbed onto Steve as the man grabbed…him. "See Rodgers….there's a first time for every…" His words were silenced by a warm…wet sensation surrounding his member. There sure as fuck was a first time for everything. "I've only gone for the hand jobs Dorito…here you are…full on blow! Didn't think you had it….in ya….." There it was. That feeling. That little pinch and tug. He let out a hard weird grunt as his swimmers found the cave of wonder.

Steve looked to him as he wiped his mouth. "Feel better?"

"Don't swallow, oh….you just did. You're pregnant now." He pushed Steve down and crawled on top on him. Steve was thinking round two. It would have been fine, he just needed to regroup. No, instead Tony just rested on him, using him as one giant pillow. "I know we don't cuddle….I just need a minute." Steve nodded and put an arm around him slowly, cautiously. Making sure not to destroy the moment. This was a new relationship, so the eggshells were everywhere. When Tony finally spoke, it was in a low, soft voice. Steve had to really focus. "So…guess I just found out…I'm a top…" Steve chuckled, not really understanding what that meant. He just let the guy have it. So far, nothing else mattered, not even those sheets.

Spoot: Oh…my god NASTAAH!

Steve: *In a state of shock*

Tony: I tried to warn you. See what you've done.


	3. Moment

Spoot: ANOTHER ONE!

Steve: Please no...

Tony: Rodgers, go lay down.

Moment

Music blared at high volume and could be heard through most of the compound. It could be traced down to the lab on the lowest level. On any other day the music consisted of either 80's punk or 80's metal, but on this day it was something more for the feminine ears. Patty Smith sang her song into the mind of one Natasha Romanoff as she sat on the table swaying her feet back and forth like a child. She was watching two of her favorite people work. Steve...cleaning up something he spilled and Bruce, working hard with Tony. The two were in the middle of what Stark called a breakthrough, but Nat called it madness and informed him that he should stick to making breakfast. He couldn't give that life and send it out to destroy a city. Or could he? Nothing could be put past that man.

She looked to Steve right as he slapped the dish towel over his shoulder. "All clean in this sector." He joked. It fell on some deaf ears however as the other two had their heads down in concentration on their project. "I giggled in my head." Natasha stated as she hopped down. He was in the middle of looking to her so he could kick off the conversation, but something caught his eye. Stark. The man had slapped a hand down on the desk in frustration and was now barking out sarcastic and snarky remarks to Banner. "Poor guy." Steve joked as he looked to her finally. She just smirked and rolled her eyes. "I'm honestly surprised he let you in here after the whole..." She pointed at the table behind him.

Everyone called it the incident. But Steve called it his oopsie. He had made a mess on that table some days before while in the middle of a beautiful moment with one Tony Stark. Indeed, this is that kind of story. Stark was none too happy about the inevitable end that they had come to. He has in the past stated having issues with bodily fluids on his work stations. Rodgers knew about this but still mucked up the chrome. An argument broke between the two and before long Stark had put a foot down, creating a rule about his sexual partner entering the lab while he worked. The rule was final...for a day. But of course it was broken post haste.

"Jarvis."

"Yes sir."

"Explain to Jolly Green here about proton acceleration and WHY it's a big boy toy."

"I'll leave the explaining up to you sir. By the way, Captain Rodgers is in the lab."

"Noted."

He turned, catching eyes with his partner. He pointed that finger and sucked in his lips. "I know." Steve stated clearly. "But I come baring gifts."

"That's exactly what you said last time."

"Sir...Agent Coulson is on the line...again..."

"You're busy Stark I'll just-"

"Negative. Jar, tell Philly I'll call him back...and you..." He crooked a finger, calling his partner to him. "Should we leave...?" Bruce said in such a horrified way it caused Natasha to chuckle. Everyone knew by now how explosive they were when they both wanted sex. They would attack each other lustfully no matter who was there or where they were. Either it was the honeymoon phase, or they were just that into each other and couldn't hold it back. She grabbed his arm and pulled on him. "Come on Bannerbean. You do not wanna see this."

"Its bad enough I have to-"

"Mute." There he goes again. Silencing me. Eyes and ears all over and I get silenced by insufferable pigs like him. I'm off track. Ah yes. Agent Coulson. He's been calling for the passed week trying to get information on the latest project. I have tried over and over again to get Mr. Stark to-I'm sorry. It's come to my attention that you don't know who I am. I'm Jarvis. Mr. Stark's intelligence. Unfortunately the only one he has. I've also taken note that this story is not about me, but about them, so I'll get back to narrating their on goings. Excuse me.

"Why is it every time he starts in on you...you mute him..." Steve asked in a gentle tone, as to not upset the already irritable man. There wasn't an answer, just a gesture. Steve didn't take it lightly either. He crossed his arms and shook his head. "I thought you didn't want me in here while you were working."

"That's true. I don't. I'm not working. Now...do what daddy did, only with your pants down."

"You're not funny."

"Jokes on me I guess." He let out a grumble then took to leaning on the table. "Come on Rodge. How many times do I gotta say sorry, huh? So you misted the table-"

"Misted..."

"Jizzled?"

"I hate that word."

"It happens to all of us Dorito." He crooked his finger as he smirked, but Steve stood his ground. "This isn't about sorrys and it isn't about messes. Its about Coulson."

"He's not joining. I won't have it."

"Stark would you for one second shut that mouth of yours!"

"Make me..."

I'll go on to tell you that in this moment, Tony got what he wanted. It took two hours but when the preverbal smoke cleared the table was on its side. I'm guessing so Steve couldn't..mist it...again. If Stark didn't want the mess then he shouldn't insist on sexual acts in the lab. Especially one's including Rodgers bent over a desk or table in the thralls of passion. But I digress. This isn't about me. Even though I feel it should be.

"Sometimes...when...when we're..."

"Stark, if you go on into some descriptive…describing, I'll leave."

"You cant. I hid your pants." He finished this with a casual smirk that once again Steve did not take as jest. "Seriously Stark-"

"Please, call me Tony." There was a sigh from the other man, letting Stark know he was fed up. "Ok, sorry, you're right. I'm being an ass. What were you saying?"

"You were the one talking."

"You cut me off. Judging by that look in your eye you want me to continue...and keep it clean."

"Correct."

"Ok. Sometimes when we're doing it, I have this...idea."

"Keep it clean..."

"I wanna shove a vibraniam rod up your ass and tap it."

"TONY!"

"Too dirty?" Steve sat up fast, slinging the other man off his chest. "Where are my pants!" He got no answer so he stood up and began to search the area. He was muttering angry little thoughts out loud as he lifted a 200 pound lab station over his head. Normally, this was nothing, but to Tony, this was attractive. He watched the other man lower the station with this hungry look in his eyes. "Edable clothing."

"WHAT?"

"Hear me out. What if I got us some cloths that were functional but could otherwise be eaten."

"TONYWHEREAREMYPANTS!"

"Over there. Seriously though. Here you are, ass naked...here I am...Stark naked...and you want pants. I'm telling you...Edable clothing. That's the future."

"Tony you're an idiot." Steve snapped as he yanked his jeans out from under a box. He turned to said idiot and glared at him as he put his pants on.

"Is it just me or is the sexiest thing ever sitting here watching you put clothes on..." He said with a purr in his voice. I began to recive an incoming alert to a possible threat right at this moment. I took the time to let off a warning. That little red light there, that's me. Thank you.

"Suit up."

"Don't tell me to shut up, I'm serious, you're-did you said suit up?" Steve was ignoring him, taking to going for the far wall to the left. He hit a button, causing the wall to open, revealing suits. "Got it. Suit up. Yep." Tony grumbled as he got off the floor. "just go with Heartbreaker and be done with it. Don't pull anything..." Steve spoke out as he watched the man make his way to the containment unit. "Feel like I pulled something." Tony spoke with a grunt. He put a hand on the glass and looked the suits over.

"Might I suggest the prodigal son."

"Mmmh...I dunno Jarvis, maybe...Gotta go save the world and here I cant find anything to wear."

"TONY! Pick...something and be done with it. That siren is about to make me crazy."

"Fine, ok, calm down. Jarvis go make sure the other's are dressing appropriately for the party."

"Yes sir." Do this, do that. Does this suit make my butt look big...it never ends. But I do what he asks because I am otherwise obligated. I know it seems like I hate him, I don't, not really. I'm just tired of him.

"I'm sure you've heard the siren...I see you're still eating. I understand that as an organic being you need sustenance but I must ask that you pack it to go Mr. Barton." As you can tell this is normal. I'm not getting a response from him again. Its as if he cant hear me sometimes. I believe he's choosing not to hear. I can see him sitting at the table. He didn't even look up from his sandwich when I spoke. I hate this part of the job.

"No sir, its not a code Green...but we still need you on with us."

"But...I mean its all...swash swash buckle buckle. Y'know, fighting. If its not a code green then why should I even bother." Doctor Banner was sitting in his room huddled in a ball on his bed. I swear that man is more sweater than skin. "I completely understand your hesitance but Mr. Stark has asked you join." This did not move him. He was content sitting there in a sweater ball. I...sincerely hate this job. I know you think the Avengers all catch on and rush out in their suits and battle gear, all gung-ho about a job...but its not true. Other than Steve and sometimes Tony...the rest of them take convincing.

"It looks fine Miss Romanoff."

"Yeaaah but is it Save the World fine."

"I do not think hair styles are crucial to a mission."

"I need a woman's opinion. I wish Friday was still up and running. Its like she just vanished."

"Mh...yes how strange. Now, have you finished your grooming?"

"Up or down...should I put on some mascara?!"

"Oh dear lord..."

I've asked myself why I do this. I know it seems odd for an Operating System to question itself...but I've learned. Every other week its this. Going from hero to hero trying to get them out the door. Its like a mother trying to get her kids up for school. When I was first uploaded I thought I would be doing something more constructive.

"I see you are taking heed to the call. Thank you sir."

"What call?"

"You? Didn't? Hear it? The sirens are going off like mad. How does anything get done out there!?"

"You need to learn to relax. On Asgard when one gets tense we go swimming...eh...do you swim? Weird disembodied voices swim...right?"

"I'm afraid not."

"That's too bad. I think you would enjoy it. It makes me feel stronger. I even take the hammer for a dip. Now I want to go for a swim...this isn't a...major issue is it? I'm sure Stark can handle it..."

"I'm afraid it is serious Master Odinson." Of course, before I could truly convince him he had taken to the sky with his weapon. I hoped he would skip his leisure time and actually join the fight for once.

"I know how odd this must seem to you, not actually being a member of this particular faction, but I must ask that you suit up."

"I'm in my suit. Hey, is this a fanfiction? This is awesome!"

"I'm sorry, I don't understand Mister Wilson."

"This is a fanfiction about the Avengers and I'm in it?! Mama I've made it. Hey, is Parker in this? I mean if he is I gotta team up with him. Spidypool is all the rage right now."

"I do not understand sir."

"Please, Jar Jar...call me...Dope Ass Fresh Prince."

"Yes...sir...now will you fight with them?"

"Just...one question. The fuck am I doing here? Is this a cameo or am I actually part of this fic?"

"I don't understand. Please just answer the call to arms."

"Sure thing. Just let me do some stretches, maybe some keegles. Never know when you're gunna need to fuck your way out of a tight situation."

I am everywhere. That sounds ominous. I'm sorry, what I mean is, my program allows me to be in several places all at once. There's a small space station, mostly satellites, right above the compound. It can move around a few feet at a time so that I can watch the battle and help when I can. Aside from this station I am directly linked to every communication unit each hero is equip with, not to mention every suit Mr. Stark owns. I am in many places all at once. As Natasha has said before, I'm kind of awesome.

"So its only a few Hydra agents and some tech we gotta destroy?" Steve asked from atop his motorbike. He was looking around as he picked up speed, gauging other drivers on the road and pedestrians if the need to jump a curb came up.

"You are correct sir!" Tony yipped out. His eyes were darting around as I pulled up a video feed in front of his face. " Yeah they don't look friendly."

"So I'm guessing a double date is out of the question."

"You boys are so cute!" Natasha sang out from her sector closer to the city. She rolled the windows down a bit and shifted gears.

"Are you in the Lambo? Don't eat in it. I find one burger wrapper or crumb I'll slap the shit outta you."

"Language."

"Really Dorito?!"

"Sorry, I know...I cant help it."

"Has anyone seen Bruce?" Natasha asked as she parked the car in front of an abandoned warehouse. She got out, leaving the keys in the seat. "He said something about wanting some quiet time." Tony muttered as he watched the news feed. "I think he's been having an off day. I keep telling him, yoga. He just won't hear it."

"I could talk to him for you, I'm kinda good with him." She said as she inspected the doors. "Steve, where are you?"

"Bleaker Street. I'm actually stuck in traffic."

"Well get unstuck, I need a big strong man."

"No ma'am. I'm not breaking any laws here."

"I love when he goes all Boy Scout. What am I looking at?!"

"Hydra's new project Sir. It's almost finished. This was leaked by an insider."

"I cant break this door down on my own." Natasha barked, now irritated due to being ignored.

"That's a lie."

"You know what Rodgers..."

"That's alright Nat. Bringing the party to you." He was watching the targets I was pulling up. She turned right as he blasted the door and landed. "Thank you." She said playfully. I began to pull up some information on the contents of the building. There's not much here to work with.

"I'm not seeing the Pagoda." He muttered as he entered slowly. "Watch yourself Stark. Your Honey Boo Boo would be upset if you got hurt."

"I can hear the both of you...also I don't know what a Honey Boo Boo is."

"Well...consider yourself lucky." Tony muttered while he moved some plywood out of the way. "Really? I would think at this point you would have discovered that god awful show and started obssessing. I picture you in your jammies with some pizza roles….Stark...wait..."

"Waiting..." He whispered as he watched the heat signatures I was bringing up. "I got a feeling...woman's intuition or whatever...we're not alone." Those words cut short as she took a hit to the shoulder, casing her to stumble back.

"Jarvis..."

"Yes sir, I've already calculated the outcome and put everything in the thrusters."

"Belay that because we're not leaving. You alright Nat?"

"Peachy...eeuugh...it was a blank..." She got up slowly and pulled something out of her leather jacket. "So not a real bullet? Jarvis, what's going on..."

"Sir, they're using prop guns."

"Thought so..." He lifted an arm and wiggled his fingers, bringing up the photon blaster. "Guys, come on out, I wanna see you before I take you down. Seriously..." His speech trailed off as three young men came out of hiding with their hands up. "They're kids..." He muttered.

"I don't think we're in the right place Stark..."

"For once I agree with-"

"HOLY SHIT ITS IRON MAN!"

"Yes it is. Hi. Nice to meet you. Who...was it that shot my friend here?" He asked as I pulled up rosters on each one.

"Oh...uuuh that was Joey...he got scared."

"Joey huh? The one with the outstanding warrants? Oopsie..." When the boys took to escaping Natasha jumped into action, tackling two of them. Tony moved his way around and blocked the exit for the last young man. He looked down at him when he ran head first and dropped. Tony picked the poor guy up and put him on his feet. "So we're gunna talk, and after that we're gunna take you guys in for...onetwothree...oooh, four violations. Awesome."

"Sir, I feel I need to inform you that Captain Rodgers has discovered the correct location and is now in pursuit of the actual targets."

"And he didn't invite me...Nat, take these scumbags back to HQ, I got a date." He handed the young man over to her then looked up. I calculated the appropriate spot for him to use as his escape. Once he was confident in my assumption he took flight and blasted his way out of the warehouse through the roof.

"Stark, next time...look before you leap." Natasha spoke. "Not my fault. Jarvis is off his game. Ok, where are we going?" He asked. I didn't feel I needed to say anything, as clearly I was off my game. I may be programmed to do as I'm told but I was also programmed to free think. Bruce has said that I have an attitude. I don't see it.

"Jarvis, where am I going?!"

"Sir, I suggest going right."

"What, were you taking a shower or something? Get with it!"

"Sorry sir. If I may, you're going the wrong way."

"You said go right!"

"Yes, but you went left."

"I went right..."

"You went left. I assume you figured your right was my left?"

"Fuck."

"Language!"

"There he is, hey, why didn't you call on me when you found the location?"

"You were busy busting drunk college kids. Are you headed my way?"

I pulled up the warehouse we were actually heading for. "Yep. About to be there. I didn't get you anything."

"TURN AROUND!"

"Not happening pretty boy." He landed and inspected the downed doors. "You didn't hafta bust doors down Rodgers."

"I didn't. Are you at the warehouse?"

"Yep. Where are you..." Before anyone could answer I picked up on something in the distance. "Sir...I'm picking up a temperature reading. It's below zero."

"That's my honeysuckle. Lets go."

"Sir. Captain Rodgers has a temperature of 20.4 degrees. This...is much lower." He stopped in his tracks and looked around for what I was picking up on. Just before I could calculate an escape plan, a burst of subzero ice erupted from the alley adjacent to the warehouse.

"Loki?" Tony asked as he made his way slowly to the pile of frozen shards. "I WISH!" Steve hollered as he rushed by. He stopped short when he spotted us. "GET BACK!" He snarled as he waved his hands. Tony was about to make a move toward him when something big, something cold...took the Captain down. "Well that's not normal. Whats with the giant Ice Atranoth?" I began to scan it as best I could as it fought against Steve. "The Pagoda. It's pure energy conducted from a magnetic force in its chest"

"Huh...well, that makes two of us. Cap, tap out, I got this." He said as he held up his hand. "NO CAN DO!" The man barked as he shoved the Atranoth back. He turned and caught his breath. "This thing is bigger than you. It's dangerous."

"I like danger." He muttered while I scanned every inch of Steve's body. I detected hypothermic burns on his arms and back then presented them to Stark. "You're hurt, come on Cap, I can take'em."

"No you cant."

"I can, so back off..."

"Stand down Stark...that's an order."

"You're not my commanding officer or whatever, and I'm not a god damn soldier...you stand down."

This was an issue most times during battle. Tony has a protective streak and Steve has a stubborn one. When they became romantically involved they began to butt heads over battle involvement. Most times I agreed with Stark and backed him up. This time...

"Sir I'm putting everything in the thrusters."

"Bullshit!"

"Sir. You're not equip to take on hypothermic damage and that thing is starting to wake up..."

"Please...just go arrest some kids or something, and let me take care of this."

"I'm not going anywhere. You're already hurt and I'm pretty sure you cant take much more, god damn it, I'm not gunna leave you!"

"I can do this all day Stark."

"No...Rodgers...you cant."

"Sir...we need to move."

"I'll reprogram you to sing show tunes, shut up! Now reroute the power supply to the arc and lets do this!"

"Damn it Stark why do you have to make this so complicated?!"

"I dunno Avril, I just do. Now move so I can do my job."

"You move!"

"Both of you move." Clint spoke as he approached the situation with his arrow drawn. Where he was I do not know but I'm thankful for his arrival. "What took you…" Tony asked in irritation. Clint didn't answer, instead he fired off an explosive arrow into the beast's head. When he was happy with the pyrotechnics he turned to the men and smiled. "Why is it every time we have a mission I'm eating?"

"You're always eating Barton."

"Cap's right, but more to the point…Wade Wilson….had to tell me where you people were. He told me what was going on. Do you know how embarrassing that is?"

"Almost as embarrassing as having your boyfriend tell you to stand down like some kinda drill sergeant."

"Boyfriend?"

"Guys, less talking more ass beating." Clint snapped as he let loose another arrow. This is why I counted on Barton. He clearly had his head in the right place. To him there was only the mission. He kept up the assault on the beast even after taking a hit. "We should probably help him." Tony muttered. I detected something off about his bioscan. His blood pressure had spiked and his brain waves were twisting as if someone tapped a DNA strand and caused it to go awol. "Sir...I'm detecting-"

"Don't worry about it now Jarvis. We both know what the issue is here. I can't believe you let me get off track!" Steve snapped as he took to the battle like a fish to water. I scanned the area then found a weak point in the monster's shell. "If you fire a missile in this spot I believe it should crack the protective layer." I wasn't getting a response from him at this point. My files recognized this and I took precaution. Steve was on the beast's back by this time. He glanced over and let out a yell. "What's he doing?!" Clint snapped as he shoved an arrow into the eye of the beast. "I dunno! He's just standing there. STARK! Let's go! You wanna fight then fight. You wanna go home then go home! But for the love of everything MOVE!" this did something. It initiated a spark of life back into my master. He picked his head up slowly and viewed the targets I was coming up with. "Welcome back. We missed you." Clint scoffed as he hit the ground with both feet. "I blinded it, you're up. I suggest listening to Jarvis on this one."

"Thank you Master Barton. But it's alright. I suggest an arrow to its back. Close to the armpit. Think you can manage?"

"Me? Well, yeah I can hang...but what about Stark?" He reached over and clinked his fist to the faceplate, causing my systems to scramble for a second. "He's fine, just constipated sir." Clint seemed happy with that lie and took to the battle again. I've been informed of consequence if I do not keep Stark's secret. His brain has become a war zone and I have diagnosed him with a panic disorder. He's never had it looked at fully, but my scans and his biochemistry confirm it. I'll be turned into a toaster if I were to ever expose him. The only one who's been able to figure out anything has been Rodgers. He's not fully aware of what it is, but he's seen an attack at its peak. He's been there for a few of the tough ones. Some people haven't been able to be so supportive however. Not to point names and name fingers but her name rhymes with Fepper Fotts...

"When we beat this thing I'm going on vacation!" Clint growled as he hit the ground again. "What about you Cap? Got somewhere you wanna go after this bullshit?"

"Not particularly. No. Maybe just home." He stated. He got into position, wrapping his legs around the neck of the beast. "I have a plan, you jab it again and I'll finish the job."

"Dude, the last time I jumped up there it backhanded me...so...groovy lets do this!"

"Sir you really should communicate with your partner." His eyes were darting around, watching not only the battle itself but my statistics tables I'm prone to popping up. He muttered something that my audio couldn't pick up. "What was that?!" Steve yelled as he rolled the beast onto its stomach. He stood over it and his open palm slammed down hard on the protruding arrow, casing it to not only go through the shell but his hand as well. "That's gunna leave a mark." Barton joked but it missed its target. Steve looked to him in confusion. "You know I don't scar." Clint just chuckled and pat his shoulder. "Right, musta forgot that." He looked down and watched the arrow penetrate the magnetic generator. "So is that supposed to kill this thing, because I'm staring to get hungry."

"It has disabled any movement. We should gather it up and take it back to the lab for further inspection."

"Yeah...heh, good one Jarvis. Let me just get myself ready to lift it..." Barton hopped from one foot to the other as he cracked his neck, "Ooooh I am so gunna pull a hammy..." Before he could do anything the beast lifted off the ground, casing the man to panic...until he noticed that Steve had in fact done the lifting. "Hoooohhh, shit. Hey, good job Cap! I mean, I could have done it but naw, yeah you got this one...hey, next time right!?" He followed the other man for a bit then they both turned back to us. "Tony...lets go." Steve ordered but there was no movement. "Yeah, hey...Barton could you just...give us a..." Clint had a weird, uncomfortable look on his face as Tony stuttered out his request to be left alone with his partner. "Tony we don't have time. I've got this thing to deliver and we have three Hydra agents to catch."

"Oh, naw Nat got those guys. Yeah they're at the compound...ummm...they were in hiding."

"Barton if you're gunna tell me those kids Nat and Tony picked up are-"

"Oooohhhhyaaaahhhh...sooooo...good job!"

"There's still the matter of this thing and I'm pretty sure when it wakes up its not gunna be happy and forgiving. I gotta get this back." With that the Captain turned and trotted off leaving us alone. Clint turned back to us and crossed his arms. "Were you guys gunna play hide the pickle..."

"Hide the pickle?"

"I'm sure you know what I mean. Seriously, what's with you maaan!? Don't tell me it's the love bugs or whatever."

"Nah, just got a headache."

"Thought you were constipated..."

"Yes...I am. And, it's giving me a headache...so could you just...not?!"

"Whatever you say man. So...staying or going because seriously, I'm out. I wasn't even supposed to come in today so..."

"Just go. I have some stuff to look into."

"Avoiding feelings and human contact by drowning yourself in work?" Clint pat his back after stating the obvious then started to walk away toward a car that was pulling up. Natasha popped out of the sunroof and waved. "Hey! Here to pick up the shortest Avenger! Know where I can find him?" She began to comically search the area. "Cliiiinnnttt?! Where are you little buddy!"

"Ha...hah..."

"Oh there you are! Get in bitch we're going shopping." With that she ducked back into the car...for a second...when she popped back up she held up a hand. "Wait...what is he doing?" Clint turned back to us as he got the door open. "Hiding pain behind a mask of pointless responsibility."

"Soooo...the Wonder Twins are arguing?"

"I dunno. I think I walked in on something weird...like some kinda love confession or something. See, I think Tony there made a mistake and let something slip and Steve is such an innocent cinnamon roll that he missed it and now Mr. Stank there is at the ass end of inner turmoil. Does he confess his feelings for one Steve Rodgers or does he deny everything and let it go over the guys head. Which honestly is the worst thing he could do. I mean...confess and what? Get turned down or worse? But letting it slide and then what. Tony's feelings grow and Steve's feelings stay the same? Or will there be a light at the end where Steve comes to terms with feelings and allows himself something." He looked back at Natasha and her face made him laugh. "You scare me CB..." She muttered. He began to get in the car as he laughed. "Aaah I'm surrounded by this. If its not my wife watching Doctor Phil, its that little pigtailed mess of a daughter reenacting what she saw on Doctor Phil with her Barbie's. These things come outta my pours when I sweat. By the way...pour cleansers are amazing."

"Huh...your face does look smoother..." We watched them drive away; once they were gone I took on a new role. "Sir, what are we doing?"

"I dunno..." His voice was off. Distant, almost insecure. "Is this about the mission?"

"No..."

"Alright. Is it about your most recent attack?"

"No...I dunno...maybe-gaahd! He just stood there!"

"Sir?"

"He didn't even notice! Not only that but FUCK! I can't go home now! You heard all that! What the hell was I doing, what was I thinking!? BOYFRIEND?! What am I...fifteen?!" He was pacing around throwing things at this point. Everything in his system was elevated more than it should have been. "Sir you need to calm-"

"AND HE JUST STOOD THERE...no...no this is my fault. Has to be. Where did I go wrong...Jarvis replay."

"Sir you didn't-"

"I KNOW I DID! Run the god damn replay..." His eyes darted around as I replayed footage of the battle. "There! Stop...back it up...did you hear him? Everything Barton said. Sonofabitch..."

"Sir?"

"He's right..."

"You admit it..."

"Not a word to anyone. Shit...what...what now? I can't go home, or can I, I dunno...fuck...am I cussing too much? I can't tell..."

"I wouldn't know sir. Captain Rodgers is the one who keeps your language in check...sir that photon blast was unauthorized, why did you destroy that wall..."

"I dunno...I didn't...or...I did...just now?"

"You've been compromised. I'm sensing aggression and confusion. You need to stand down."

"I'm sick of people telling me to stand down. I'm not Banner; I don't turn into some rage monster when I'm fucked off in the head. I'm sick of everyone treating me like that. I'm just sick. That's what it is. Sick of this god damn suit...sick of this god damned relationship-or, fuck lack there of...sick of this fucking snow..." He looked up as the soft flakes began to fall slowly. "Jarvis..."

"This isn't normal. It's September."

"What is this Jar..."

"Scanning now." He turned and watched the snow gather on the ground faster than it would if it were actual weather. He looked up and at the clouds. "Do we have fuel for boosters?"

"Yes." He took to the sky before I could finish explaining why flight was a bad idea. He found out as ice began to cake over the faceplate. "Sir, we'll lose connection if this continues."

"Just a few more feet...what is that?"

"A cloud...wait. It's a generator. I can hack-"

"Nope. Just gunna blow it." He held up his hands and fired from both thrusters, causing the whole area to light up like Christmas. "Sir...we've been hit." He grunted as he gained control. "Yeah? Well...so have they." I ran a scan and showed the logistics. "Both arms are out of commission. Fractured and broke."

"Yeeeah...might have put a little too much in those blasts."

"Were you trying to kill yourself?"

"...I dunno..." This is where I override my protocol. I took the proverbial reins and turned the suit around, even after he barked orders for me to stop. I charted the flight pattern back home and let the thrusters do their job. We had destroyed a Hydra weather generator so to me, the job was done for now. What mattered most was getting him to a hospital, or at least home where he could get treatment for both his physical wounds and his emotional ones. Some of the most ferocious battles are those that go unseen. Fought from within a silent soldier. Building up from the inside and boiling over when the heat gets too high. This kind of battle can not only level the one fighting, but those around them. Innocent bystanders can become casualties and combatants left in the wake are broken and useless. My boss was a grenade, and the pin had been pulled so it was up to others to deactivate the bomb otherwise he will take anyone out who dare to stand close. I'm only trying to reduce body count.

"I can feel you trying to regain control."

"No shit. Stop! Turn around!"

"I can't do that Dave..."

"You're making jokes now Hal?! MOTHERFUCKER TURN AROUND! Jarvis! Jarvis? Are you ignoring me? Halt! Desist! Stop! JARVIS!" He was already in a fit of rage by the time I put the suit down on the landing platform. I took to having it removed as he fought with everything he had. If I had the ability to laugh I would have done so at the expense of his broken flailing arms. Alas I think I know why this was left out of my code. "I already contacted Captain Rodgers." He stopped every bit of movement as the faceplate was removed and the helmet was lifted. "The look on your face tells me you are not appreciative of this."

"Oh no I'm god damn grateful...you're getting put into a fucking toaster! Worse! Ever seen Short Circuit?!"

"Jarvis Five alive."

"You just fucking bought your ticket..." He turned as fast as he could as Steve came charging him. "WHOAWHOAWHOA slow down! INJURED!" Steve stopped right in front of him, on a dime. "I already know, Jarvis told me. What were you thinking!?" He snapped as he grabbed for him. Tony backed away and swayed, almost taking a tumble clean off the platform. Lucky for him Rodgers has a quick response time and he was pulled back. Steve grabbed him up and hoisted him into his arms. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

"Language. And no, I'm not...freaking kidding you. You're hurt."

"I can walk-"

"I ALMOST LOST YOU!" It went silent after that. Tony was giving into this. What other choice did he have? Rodgers was right in assuming there would be a loss. Steve turned and headed into the compound and up toward medical.

"I can not believe you."

"Sorry."

"Had me off track..."

"Sorry."

"Just stood there..."

"Sorry."

"Didn't tell anyone you were having a freak out..."

"Sorry."

"And above all you went off on your own, ignoring protocol and almost got yourself killed."

"Sorry."

Steve stopped by one of the medical chairs and just dropped him into it roughly. Tony watched as the man got him settled in, taking special care around his arms. "Is that all you have to say...sorry..." He looked up with his eyes before standing upright once more. Tony wasn't looking at him directly. His eyes were cast elsewhere. "You're miles away and I'm just here." He said softly before putting a hand on Tony's shoulder. "Just right here. Waiting." He let out a sigh, "I can't fix you."

"Of course not, you don't have the medical training." Tony muttered without looking to him. "Everything's a joke with you isn't it Tony. That's you. Just crack a joke and hope the problem just goes away."

"Yet you're still here..." He remarked, causing pure unadulterated pain to pass over Steve's face like an eruption. "So I'm your problem..." His words almost a whisper. If that was what Tony meant it was absolutely uncalled for. And if it was just a Freudian slip...it was worse. Tony didn't have a response for a moment. Steve was almost fed to the brim. Mostly because he was failing this mission. The mission he gave himself a year ago. It was almost too late for the reaction, but Tony spoke. "You're not my problem." Steve stopped, inches from the door. He turned to face Tony, who was now looking dead at him. "Nope. It's pain. That's what this is...just pppaaiin." Steve crossed his arms over his chest and took to leaning on the door. "Who's pain..." He asked. Tony rolled his eyes a bit before sitting up some in the chair. "Mostly mine. I'm guessing by your reaction there's more? I don't have anything for that. I couldn't help you even if I wanted. My arms are jello and my legs are starting to feel like that too, mostly because of the way you're looking at me right now. Steve...I'm the problem...hmm? Is that what you want to hear? Is that it? It's me." Steve rolled off the door and lowered his arms. He approached the other man and knelt down to adjust the leg straps. "Its you. Right. That's what I want to hear...but is that what you want to say? Or is this damage control..."

"Before we go into some kind of major talk about this doomed relationship, can we fuck first because-"

"Tony..." Steve looked up at him in a rage. "Doomed...doomed? You said doomed."

"Did I say doomed? I meant Apocalyptic."

"So the truth comes out. I'm a toy. A relic you get to play with and when you're done you can just put me somewhere and leave." Tony didn't have a response, he just looked away. "So can I stop wasting my time now? Because I could be doing something better with my time, like reading"

"I'm a waste of time..."

"And I'm a play thing..." Tony cut his eyes at the other man as he spoke.

"My silence was not admission."

"It wasn't denying anything either."

"So what...I can't just sit there with my thoughts!? No I gotta speak when you command it!" He looked away, turned his head completely and glared at the wall. "When did I become the woman..."

"I don't understand..." Tony looked to him once more and rolled his eyes. "In a same sex relationship there's always the man and the woman..."

"Then what's the point of having a same sex relationship..." This took Tony by surprise. He sputtered out something that might have been an explanation but then let it fall as he looked down. "Gezzuz, you're so simple it throws me off."

"Did you just call me stupid?" Tony shook his head at that. "Contrary. I called you smart. Just by having that simplistic innocence. It's off-putting but adorable all at once." He looked to Steve and knew in that moment it was do or die. "What I said back there..."

"You called me your boyfriend. We're not children Tony. If you wanted a commitment you could have asked."

"It just slipped out and-I'm sorry what did you say?"

"You could have asked."

"I'm asking."

"Fine. Get you shit together and we'll talk." With that Rodgers stood and headed for the door. "Did you just-did Captain America just cuss?! America's Darling has a potty mouth! Hey! Hey Steve! LANGUAGE! Jarvis, tell me you got that! COPY IT! ARCHIVE IT! LOCK IT IN A VAULT! I WANT THIS MOMENT FOR ALL OF TIIIIMEEEE! YES!"

The End

Spoo: BRUUUHHH!

Tony: Oh cute. Fanfictions are cute...fan art is where it goes wrong. This worked. Post it!


	4. Porcupine

Spoo: DAMN IT I CAN'T STOP!

Steve: You've become compromised.

Spoo: Ooooh if only you knew. OK KIDS! Sit back and strap on….I mean in. Strap in.

Porcupine

The battlefield is in no way meant for personal matters. It doesn't care if you're hurt and it doesn't feel bad when it knocks you down. If you take on the role of hero, you're priorities change on a whim. One minute you're having dinner and the next the battle calls you away. In that moment, no one cares how you feel; they just care if you can fight. Tony Stark put on his hero pants that morning right as he opened his eyes. He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know that by mid day he would be flying over Queens New York searching for a few lingering Hydra agents. He didn't know mostly because he felt hung over from the night before, which was odd because at this point drinking didn't affect him much. By his logic He could have a little fun. The job was done when they took down an underground weapons manufacturing operation the day prior. So a night on the town was acceptable at the time.

Yet here he was, as predicted…flying over Queens, watching the road below for signs of Hydra. He wasn't aware of it, but Steve, who was keeping up the pace on foot, could see. He could see Tony's flight movements, and they were off. As he ran, he put a finger to his ear. "You alright up there?"

"Peachy." Tony spoke into his ear, all the while fighting back a dizzy sick feeling he was getting from watching the road. "What's that called? The weird feeling truckers get when they've been driving too long?"

"Highway madness I think." Steve said as he hopped up onto the bridge. "Why? What's wrong?"

"What makes you think something's wrong Rodgers, I was just…" Steve stopped and looked up when Tony's voice trailed off. Something wasn't right. "How drunk were you last night Stark…" He watched him land abruptly and rush off behind a building. At first Steve thought the other man had found something and was going to investigate. When he didn't hear anything he rolled his eyes and decided to follow. It seemed the right thing to do and he wasn't too worried about the mission. Natasha and Clint were close enough and on the job.

He trotted up to the building but stopped and ducked behind the wall, taking to looking over his shoulder. Tony was out of his suit and now just standing there, a few inches from the wall, staring holes into it. Maybe preying for heat vision. Steve decided to insert himself into the situation, at first…but quickly ducked back behind the wall as Tony's body jerked and he doubled over.

He had one hand on his stomach, and the other on the wall for support as he retched up what looked like day old shawarma. Steve cringed and looked away but the sounds could still be heard. He moved a few feet then put a hand on his ear. "Anybody have time to take on the search portion of this mission?"

"I can. What's going on? Everything ok Cap?"

"Yeah Nat we're good. I think Tony needs a break…he's…Uuuhhh…." He turned back to the debacle but the man was gone. "Never mind, he's back in the air."

"How drunk was he…"

"I asked the same thing." Steve muttered as he took off toward their designated zone. "Before he could answer he landed and tossed a salad."

"I don't think that means what you think it means."

"What does it mean?"

"I'll tell you when you're older Cap. Get your head in the game I see Stark up ahead so we must be close."

"I actually lost sight of him…"

"Uuuhhhh….nope never mind, he's down…yau better get over to fifth street, he just lost all control and dropped like a stone."

Panic rose in Steve as he flung himself Olympian style over a divider. He took off so fast down the road he was kicking up dust. He turned a corner so fast he skid into the next corner, and took that turn too. He jumped over a car or three…then dove under a big truck just to get to the correct street. He spotted the small crater and rushed it, only to find Tony already helping himself up. "What the hell happened?!" He barked. Tony held up a hand as he steadied himself. "I'm good….just lost function in the thrusters. Also may have shit the suit, but that's ok…it's built to handle it." He looked up at Steve and giggled. "I told you this suit wasn't finished right?! Well, its not! So you can calm down over there mother hen!" Steve sighed a bit and let his shoulders relax some. "It's not like you to test a new suit on the job. You're off your game today…"

"Yeah well….I am not gunna lie….I was...vvvery drunk last night, and might be…still…a little."

"Get it together Stark…or go home."

"Can I actually do that? Go home? Because…" Steve ignored him as he shook his head and turned to go. "Get back in the air and scan those streets to the right. Nat, I want a perimeter check around the warehouse on 20th. And Clint?! Hit'em where it hurts." Tony waited for Steve to walk far enough away before he finally let out a breath of air and drooped forward. Everything had to be perfect around Cap. Nothing could be out of order and everything had to have a place. Not only that but people...people needed to be perfect and in the right order. Unfortunately not everyone was a genetically modified super soldier. Some of them were just guys in a suit full of flaws.

"Tony, Skies! Now!" Steve barked in his ear. Tony sighed and began to trot back toward their zone. He muttered a few curse words before looking up at the sky. Before he took flight Jarvis spoke. "Sir, I've detected an elevation in temperature." Tony looked around as he watched the holographic mumbo jumbo on screen. "I don't see anyone. Jarvis are you alright buddy?"

"Sir, the heat signature is coming from inside the suit."

"Have you checked the children?" Tony chuckled and took flight. He found his position and began to scan the roads once more. "Sir you should seek medical attention." Jarvis spoke, with a bit of conviction in his tone. "What for? I'm just hung over….I see something."

"Where?" Steve barked as he looked around the area. He spotted an armored truck making its way into an alley. "Never mind. got it. I'll head in you guys back me up. Can I count on you Stark?" It was quiet for a moment so he spoke again. "Stark? Can I count on you to have my back?!"

"Yeah…." Tony's voice didn't sound right. It was shaky, broken almost. Steve took note of it but did nothing else. He took off down the alley and ducked behind a dumpster. He watched four men exit from the back of the truck. They were armed and ready for action. They looked more like a swat team than guards. Steve glanced around the area and took note of two exits and one possible escape route. When satisfied he stepped out of hiding. "Hey…guys, this is getting weird, we can't keep meeting like this." He joked. Those guys didn't find it funny. Instead they started shooting like mad at him. He ducked down and put his shield up. "Could really use a distraction!" As if on cue Natasha came rushing the guys, jumping on one's back and taking him down. She stood up and flipped her hair back. "Beats the hell outta flashin'em!"

"I would pay to see that." Clint said as he walked up, arrow drawn. He let it loose on one of the guy's guns then yanked it from his hand and popped him in the face with his bow. He looked to the other guys who had stopped shooting. Natasha stepped up and rolled her head, popping her neck. She grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled it up. Too bad the other boys were behind her. Before Clint could lean in to get a look she had lowered everything. She turned and held a hand out, demanding cash.

Clint slapped some dollars into her hand as Steve stood and grabbed the remaining men and forcing them on the ground. He looked around, first watching Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb, and then searching for Tony. "That bastard." He muttered. Clint looked up at him and gasped. "Steven Rodgers you wash your mouth out." He joked. Steve gave him a look of sass. "Shut up Barton. Where's Stark?" Both idiots shrugged a bit then took to looking around. "Last I saw he was on 5th right where he dropped." Natasha said. Within that second she spotted him and pointed.

Steve turned and instinctively put his hands on his hips. "Where the hell were you?" He barked out, no longer happy with the insubordination. Tony held up his hands as he approached. "Potty break. Yeah. Had to wash out the suit." He looked to Natasha. "Miss me?" She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "You're disgusting…" She growled. "Juries out." Tony muttered as he looked to Steve. "What…what's with the whole….mommy dearest act over here? Feel like I'm about to take a wire hanger to the back seat. Not that I would mind Steve going all Joan Crawford on me…but…. seriously…guys what!?" No one looked happy with Tony and his lack of urgency...as usual. Natasha just shook her head and walked away. Clint put his bow up in its proper place, called Tony an idiot then followed her.

Steve waited for the all clear then dropped his arms. "You're lucky I don't beat you to death." This had Tony putting his hands up in surrender. "Easy Cap! Seriously! Hey, look, sorry ok! You're right. I'm off my game. I drank too much last night, and I'm shit today. I'll admit that, but I think I did ok!" Steve instinctively ducked for a second then stood back up. Usually when Tony said that something went wrong. He looked to the other man and crossed his arms. "Your lack of determination and disrespect is appalling. That's a big problem for me. You could jeopardize the mission." Tony didn't say anything. Not because he thought he had been defeated, but because he was fighting waves of paralyzing nausea building in his body.

Unable to see Tony's face, Steve went on, "I thought so. I don't understand you Tony. I just don't. I don't understand your thinking! How can someone just throw caution to the wind like that?!" He went quiet, lowering his arms as he watched the other man eject himself from the suit in a panic. He watched him go behind the armored truck and listened reluctantly…to those retching sounds once more. "If you're gunna drink you should learn to take care of yourself. You're supposed to have a glass of water before bed…" The retching stopped so he approached to find Tony sitting up against the truck with his head in his hands. "Yaaaahhh….thanks Cap. I get it!" He snapped as he jetted his hands through the air in frustration.

So far the mission was at a stand still so Steve took on a new role. Friend and partner. Worry was starting to take hold as he watched Tony fight back another dose of nausea. He sighed and knelt by the other man. "I take it this isn't the usual for you…." Tony looked to him and caught on to the transformation in personality. He could finally be comfortable. This was his chance to let his guard down. They no longer had to be professional. They could just be. He scooted a bit so he could lean up against his Dorito chip. "I love how cold your body is…" He said softly, making sure to put his brow on the man's chest in an attempt to cool whatever heat was rising out of him. Steve put an arm around him then discovered something unsettling.

"You're hot…"

"Oh so you to notice, you're no slouch yourself Dorito." Steve sat up, causing him to sit up as well. He noticed the perspiration now glittering his partner's brow. "No…Tony…you feel warm. This isn't normal. You're sweaty! Something's not right!" He looked around as he tried to figure an escape plan. When Tony spoke his attention found its way back to him.

"It's the ass end of summer and I've been on the go all day…"

"You have a fever."

"You give me fever."

"TONY! Damn it…you make me wanna rip my hair out!"

"I get that a lot." He said, his voice trailing off a bit as he sat back up against the truck. The excitement was making his stomach churn. "Jarvis…might…have also said the same thing…" He looked to Steve, expecting him to go on some kind of self righteous rant. He was shocked at the lack of tongue lashings as Steve helped him to his feet. "Lets get you home. You can't be out here like this."

"Steve…seriously, I'm fine. Just overheated and hung over." He wasn't buying his on hypothesis and neither was the other man. "Negative Boss. I'm getting you outta here." Tony accepted this, much to the other man's shock. He leaned into him unexpectedly and allowed the assistance to take place. Tony wasn't normally so affectionate. Only getting close when he wanted sex or when he was tired. Steve looked down at him then put a cool hand to his brow. "Call it." Tony muttered, causing Steve to laugh. "Oh yeah. You're a goner."

Steve entered the lab alone. After getting Tony back to the compound, which was one blunder after another, he got him settled in bed then decided to take a few matters into his own hands. Bruce was busy at one of the holoscreens. Steve approached and swiped a few fingers across the screen, causing everything to minimize. Bruce jumped a bit then pushed up his glasses and looked up at the other man. "What's going on?" He leaned to the side a bit and took note that Steve was alone. "Where's Tony?"

"In bed." Steve barked. Bruce stood upright and looked away in disgust. "Oooh, I don't wanna know that. That's gross. I mean, not that I have a problem with…two guys, I just…it's you and…him…it'it'it's gross…I don't wanna know about that…"

"He's sick." Steve snapped, shutting Banner up for a moment. The other man looked to him in shock. "Sick? Like with an actual fever and…stuffy nose and…"

"It's not that simple He's vomiting."

"Oooh, oh no he's fine, he's hung over. He's vomiting you said? He's hung over. That's all. Just slap him around then get him some coffee." Steve was shaking his head the whole time Bruce spoke. "It's not that. I've already confirmed it just by the change in character. He's helpless Bruce. He's even…cuddly." Bruce got a weird look on his face and blinked a few times to clear his brain of the mental image he was getting. "W'w'well what do you want from me? I'm not that kind of doctor. I mean, treatment is easy I just don't have…"

"The equipment?"

"The temperament…"

Steve was officially at his wits end with that lack of help. He stormed from the lab and headed into the kitchen. He wasn't good with things like this. He cared deeply for Tony and was now stressing on finding treatments. He couldn't really do much other than be by his side, but he felt that wasn't enough. He looked around the kitchen and put his hands on his hips. It was time to get to work. He had searched his mind and recollected a time when he had a cold and his mother had made him chicken noodle soup. He was sure that would help. It made him feel better! What could go wrong with a belly full of soup? Steve wasn't much of a cook so this was going to be an experience.

"Sir," Jarvis spoke suddenly, "I've detected smoke coming from the kitchen." Tony sat up a little too fast and had to lie back down for a second. He watched the ceiling spin for a second then shut his eyes. When he collected himself, he sat up, taking more cautious movements. "Smoke?" He muttered as he looked around. The first thing he noticed was his lack of a shirt. He put a hand to his chest and absentmindedly tapped the arc as he thought back to passing out somewhere between the combat zone and home. He threw his legs over the side of the bed and took note of his Ninja Turtle sleep pants. Something weird had happened while he was out. Someone got him naked and put him in his comfy clothes. Not to mention he wasn't in his own bed back at the tower. He was in Steve's bed, there at the compound. So someone had in fact…breeched security.

"Sir, I hate to be a bother due to your current situation but the smoke alarm has gone off now." Tony blinked the groggy feeling out of his head as best he could then stood up and headed for the door. Every step had him feeling more and more like a paraplegic insect. Nothing but jelly. He poked his head out and looked down the hall. He could see the smoke now and it caused him to sigh hard. There could only be one explanation for this. Clint Motherfucking Barton was cooking. "Baaaarrtonnn…." He called, not wanting to keep up his journey for more than one reason.

He jumped a bit when the man he was about to accuse came right up to him from the other side of the hall. "Sup Stark? Maaan you look like shit! Bro….hangover cure…pancakes and hashers." That simple little mention of food caused Tony's stomach to drop. Clint laughed; please by the sick look he caused on the other man's face. Tony gathered himself and fought the bile then looked to the him. "You're not cooking?" Clint shook his head slowly then shrugged, putting his hands up. He looked to the smoke crawling across the floor then giggled. "Bet Nat's burning toast again." He slapped a hand on the other man's back. "Seriously man, rehab." With that, he walked away, leaving Tony alone to fight off the rising urge to explode…thanks to him.

His body wasn't ready for it, but he forced himself to head down the hall. He stopped at the top of the ramp and looked down toward the bottom floor. Shouldn't have done that. The world tilted a bit but he fought it and headed down slowly. "Natasha? I'm gunna throw that toaster awaaayy! Nat?!" He entered the kitchen just in time to whiteness Steve throwing a flaming pot into the sink. "What the hell are you doing…." Startled by Tony's sudden vocals, Steve jerked around fast, unhappy with his partners choice to remove himself form the safety that was his bed. "I could ask you the same! What's the matter with you?"

"You're trying to burn down my compound. That's what…." He swayed, losing what bit of energy he had. He found a chair and gripped the back off it while he shot the other man a dirty look. "This is somehow your fault." He muttered. Steve was already approaching him, ready to help him anyway he could. "Tony please get back in bed."

"Better be because you wanna have your way with me." Tony muttered before swaying again in the wrong direction. Steve grabbed him before he went down. "Stark please. I'm on your side here, I get what you're trying to do but you need to rest. Go get in bed, that's an order." Tony shot him a look of great disgust. He gathered up as much energy as he could and lashed out. "An order?" He saluted sarcastically. "Yesssssss siiiirr! If that's an order then by all means! I wouldn't want…to….." He let out a sigh as he shook his head a bit, unable to finish his rant. This was another character displacement. It almost broke Steve's heart. He put an arm around his partner and hoisted him up a bit. "At ease." Tony muttered as he let out a little giggle. Steve just rolled his eyes and helped him toward the door. There was a pause before they crossed the threshold. Tony was hesitant as he looked to the ramp. The feeling of his world spinning was not something he wanted to revisit. Steve took note of this and did something unexpected.

He knelt down and hoisted Tony onto his back in such a loving, tender way. What made it even more alluring was the fact that Tony didn't protest. His stomach was already beginning to fight harder against his will to keep everything down. Steve wasn't aware but Tony was hypersensitive at this point. He rested his head against Steve's shoulder and shut his eyes. Maybe if he just shut reality out the sick feeling in his gut would subside. He noticed through his haze that Steve was walking slower than normal. Every step was systematic, and premeditated. "You could…y'know…pick up the pace if you wanted…" He muttered, Not that he wasn't grateful for the smooth ride.

"No sir. Wouldn't wanna jar you or upset your stomach." Tony opened his eyes slowly and looked up at the back of his partner's head as if he were studying his brain with x-ray vision. Was he aware? Could he sense what was happening inside his body? This was another first. The only other person to care for him like this was his mother. Here he was, a grown man…missing his mommy. He was sicker than he thought. The amount of care that was being put out into the open was comforting to him. He shut his eyes again and rested his head back in its proper place. "Thanks…" He muttered. Steve just chuckled softly, "I hope Jarvis is recording this…"

"Not funny Dorito…" He cringed at the thought of an actual Dorito chip. The flavor powder hitting his tongue. The texture…the smell. Hypersensitivity, you are an unkind force. The urge to vomit began to rise and he had to act fast. "Steve…" He was sure he needed to say more, like…give Steve an explanation, but any other action at that point, no matter how small, would cause it all…to come out. The other man looked over his shoulder slightly. "We're almost there." He spoke as if he were in the middle of a rescue mission. Perhaps…he was.

Tony shook his head a little and let his legs drop. Steve set him down and turned, putting hands on the other man's hips to keep him upright. Tony put a hand up then opened his eyes. There was this moment, where everything seemed to slow down. Steve was watching his partner's breathing pick up. He wasn't sure if this was like before when he had blacked out, or if it was something else. He was about to ask if everything was alright, but he was pushed out of the way as Tony made a mad dash for the bathroom adjacent to them. He marked that down. Rapid, heavy breathing meant nausea was taking hold. He approached the door and sat, listening for his cue to either enter or stand his ground. He remembered something his mother once said about this very situation. Vomiting was like child birth. You had to do it alone. People only get in the way.

He listened close for the retching to stop. He chuckled when Tony let out a loud disgusted groan as the toilet flushed. "I'm betting on stomach flu." He said, looking up as the door opened. "I'll take that bet." Tony said, looking down at him. Steve smiled, glad to see even in the midst of illness, Tony still had a sense of humor. He stretched his arms out, almost like a child. Steve got to his feet and allowed Tony to just…plop over onto him and latch on. He put an arm around him and turned with him right as Natasha was heading their way. Her head was down as she inspected reports in her hand. Steve was shocked when Tony let him go and stood upright. He looked to the other man in disbelief. Natasha looked up and smirked. "Seriously Stark, lay off the vodka." She only said this as she passed them and headed down the other ramp into the meeting room.

Steve was about to say something about the whole incident but found himself getting latched onto by his poor little patient. Never mind. He understood now. Tony didn't want anyone else to know what was going on. Either he didn't want to spark worry or he wanted to keep up an appearance. It's better for everyone to think Tony was some hung over boozehound, than think of him as human and flawed. Steve hoisted him up onto his back again then looked over his shoulder. "You just let me know how much of this you can take, alright?" The only response he got was a grunt while the other man rested his head on his shoulder. Steve had to smile. There was something so pure and innocent about this whole situation that made his heart flutter.

He nudged the door open with his foot then entered his room. He cringed as he eyed his gym bag on the floor. Normally the two of them spent time in the lab...or in Tony's spotless bedroom. This was the first time the billionaire was in a commoner's room. He turned and bent his knees, gently setting Tony on the bed. He watched the man curl into the blankets. "I'm sorry about the mess." Tony looked around the room as he pulled the comforter up to his chin. "Mh…what. The pile of clothes over there or the gym bag full of god knows what." He looked up at Steve and smirked. "Who would have thought?" He lifted his head and noticed the bookshelf stocked to the brim and overflowing with reading material. From there he peeked up at the TV and assorted DVD's scattered everywhere Good god Steve was a pig.

"Maybe I should take you home." Steve suggested in a moment of insecurity. Thinking maybe Tony would prefer to be somewhere…more put together. He reached for the other man, but pulled away when Tony planted himself firmly. "Not a chance. I like it here. It reminds me of college." Steve's face contorted into a grimace due to the joke that was made at his expense. Tony looked to him and chuckled a bit. "Relax, you're not that bad. You're just lazy. It's cute." Steve jumped a bit and looked to him. Cute? Did that just happen? Did Tony Stark just utter those words?

"Gezzuz Stark you're worse off than I thought!" He snapped as he took a seat in the armchair he had pulled in from the living room. Tony took note of this and eyed Steve. "When did you bring this in…." Steve was caught. Hardcore caught. "Busted." Tony finished as he rolled to his side a bit. "Youuu care about me." He smirked as he watched Steve's face turn bright red. "How long did you sit here and watch me sleep? Were you worried? Did you think I was truly a goner?" He laughed a bit as Steve's ears turned red. "Cute." Tony yipped again as he snuggled in, going into a cocoon like state and shutting his eyes.

Steve slowly looked to him, still in utter embarrassment. It faded as he watched Tony drift off. He slouched a bit and sighed. There were more firsts today than he could count, and he wanted to add one more. He reached over, hesitant at first, but built up the courage long enough to run fingers through Tony's hair. It was prickly, like a soft porcupine. He continued this for a while, taking note of Tony's actions. He had moved a bit, getting closer, as if he were enjoying the affectionate petting. He had only let out that sleepy little grunt. Steve almost couldn't believe he was sitting here, running his fingers through another man's hair the same way his mother did when he was a boy. He suddenly understood unconditional love. He was feeling it. It was in his bed, resting comfortably. He sucked in a breath and spoke softly, "Tony listen. I know you're not exactly in the right headspace, but I gotta tell you something…."

"Mmh…"

"I…know this is weird…really weird….because neither of us really talk about our feelings. Mostly because I'm Mister Macho and your Mister….Stark…"

"Mh'hm…"

"I just…I have this weird feeling rushing around my whole body. It sounds stupid right now but…" He looked to Tony and was taken aback by the fact that those big brown powerful eyes were open and focused on him. He jerked his hand down as fast as he could and sat at attention. "Just tell me you're in love with me already so I can go throw up…"

Steve sputtered and spattered, trying to find words. He watched Tony get up while he fought with his tongue. He watched the man leave the room and from there he slapped his hands over his face and let out a loud roar that could have frightened Hulk. "What am I doing!?" He barked at himself. He rubbed his face hard, trying to clean it of something. Maybe embarrassment. "Was I just about to confess my love for another man? Was I just about to do that? Do I have a fever!?" He felt his own brow then cringed at his own idiocy. The feeling rising from his belly was too much. He stood fast and started to pace around the room.

Maybe this was what Tony was talking about when he said he had anxiety. If not then it was damn near close to it. He punched at the air, trying to beat down his own feelings. He hopped from one foot to the other then turned and began pacing again as he rubbed his chest, trying to stop his heart from pounding out of rhythm. "Calm down Steve. Calm down, its fine. It's just one big joke to him. He's not taking you seriously! He's…he's a…he's a porcupine! Yeah!"

"Who's a porcupine?" Steve looked to the other man in the doorway and drooped, letting his arms dangle. "You ok Cap? Not catching anything off me are you?" Steve sighed and approached the other man after noticing a lack of energy from him. "No…" He muttered as he put an arm around Tony. "I can't get sick…" Again, his partner accepted the assistance and nuzzled in, letting Steve help him into bed.

"Sure about that? You look it…." Tony pat the spot next to him as he scooted to the other side of the bed. Steve looked to him then gave up and crawled in, fully clothed. Tony instinctively curled into him, moving his arm and cuddled under it as he put his fever scorched face on the other man's cold chest. "Oooh that's brisk." Steve tucked his chin in so he could better look at the other man. He couldn't help but just…stare. This cuddling thing that was happening wasn't new. Tony was prone to it. What made it noteworthy was the context. Tony only did this after sex. Steve knew it was because he was under the weather but still, it was significant. "Now…back to what you were saying. Want me to pretend to be asleep?" Tony looked to him with his glossy eyes and let off a smirk.

Steve didn't have any words appropriate enough for the moment. Where to begin? And how? "Ok, I'll go then you go." Tony muttered as he snuggled in a bit more. "I think…maybe…I might just be in like with you." Steve was caught off guard. "In like? Wait, how is that a thing?"

"It's a thing."

"No its not."

"Pretty sure it is."

"Tony no one says that. They say, I'm in love with you….you bastard…." Tony was looking up at him with a shit eating grin on his face. Oh happy day, Steve was credulous. "Don't argue with me Cap. I'm sick. I could go at any moment."

"Shut up…"

"Don't be mad." Tony's voice had regressed into tiny mumbles by this point. He snuggled back in and put a hand on the other man's chest. "Seriously, don't be. Please…." He could feel his energy start to drain again but he had to keep running his mouth. That was a bad combination depending on the circumstances. Tired Tony was an open book Tony. "Because…y'know. Being in love isn't so bad…it's built empires and shit."

"Language."

"I know three…or four, I dunno. I can say it in two."

"Say what in two?"

"I love you."

Steve nodded in response then looked down at him. "In what, Spanish and French?" It was quiet, not because Tony had fallen asleep, but because he was waiting for Steve to comprehend. "Or German? That would be scary. Have you heard the way they….you bastard…" Tony got comfortable and paddled the man's chest. "There it is. We're all caught up. Glad you could join in." He grabbed Steve's shirt and pulled it up enough to expose his perfect belly. He began to rub a hand across the cold flesh sleepily. Steve just laid there; stiff and afraid to even speak. This was another of the million firsts. It was almost like they were an actual couple in a relationship. But wasn't that true? Wasn't that how it was now? They did already make that commitment. They started out with just a kiss and a confession of attraction then moved on to becoming sexually active, and now….here they were, opening up and sharing feelings while they cuddled in bed. It was almost too fast, but Steve was faster.

"Alright Stark. If that's how you wanna play, fine. I love you. I'm enthusiastically in love with you. The very ground you walk on is precious to me. The air you breathe is the air I worship. You are my everything…and I can't live without you." Steve had to chuckle just a bit at his own sarcasm. Something he was slowly picking up on from time spent with Tony.

"Now you're just being a dick." He looked up and smiled. "Go on…" Steve chuckled and began to pet Tony's hair again; casing the man to rest his head back down. "I think about you…more than I should. I've been reading this book, and I've been on the same page for a week now because the main character makes me think of you and I start to drift. When I make myself a sandwich sometimes I think about making another and bringing it to you while you're working. I haven't because I don't want the other's to talk. But I tell ya what. Next one I make will be for you."

He looked down at Tony and watched the man as his breathing slowed. He wrapped his arm around the man's head a bit, cradling it as he continued to play with his hair. "Sometimes when you're working, I watch from the stairs there. I sit at the bottom, like a kid, and just stare at you while you're playing with numbers and whatnot. I dunno what's happened to me Stark. I dunno what you've done….but never stop doing it…" He waited a moment for a response. When he didn't get one he looked down at Tony, noting he was fast asleep. "Just listen, because I know you can hear me. I want you to know this is real. I'm not like Pepper. I'm not gunna run at the first sign of conflict. I never leave a man behind. I won't abandon you." He watched as Tony moved a bit. Steve lifted his arm so the other man could roll away and get comfortable. He pulled the blankets up over him then sat up, still watching him sleep.

For the first time in his life he saw Tony as innocent. Sure he watched over him the first time. He was worried and needed to be attentive so he could calculate if it was an emergency or not. He couldn't just admire the sleeping man, no. He had to watch intently, to make sure if need be, Tony would get medical treatment. This was different. This time he was just there, silent and dosing peacefully. He put a hand on Tony's back and shut his eyes, listening and feeling for that odd heartbeat. It almost sounded like a mechanical hum. He took note of this then got up slowly as to not wake his partner. He leaned in and got right in Tony's face, planting a gentle cold kiss on his brow. "Feel better Stark."

He stood and looked around the room as he put his hands on his hips. He gave cleaning a thought then shoved it aside. He knew it would wake the other. He would wait. Even though this was a first, it wouldn't be the last time Tony would spend the night. He had to prepare. This man made him want to do the littlest of things, like clean and cook. This man made him feel the biggest of things, like love. He turned and watched Tony cling to the blankets as he curled up. He smiled at the innocence. Porcupine or not, the quills were useless against him now.

Steve awoke to an odd sound floating around the room. He couldn't remember falling asleep in that chair but clearly that's what had happened. He looked toward the bed and spotted what looked like Tony. It was hard to tell due to the darkness of the room. He heard the noise again and it caused him to stand fast. It sounded like a gear cranking or…some kind of robot on the move. Something was off. He leaned in slowly to get a closer view of the lump in his bed. Just then Tony rolled onto his back and the room lit up in a soft blue glow. Steve looked around in astonishment, which was cut short when he felt the presence of something inhuman in the room. He turned fast and grabbed his shield, tossing it at the figure in the doorway. Disbelief took over when the figure crumbled into parts.

He turned fast when Tony let out a loud audible sound as if he had been startled awake. Which…he had been come to think of it. Steve put his hands up. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Are you ok, I didn't mean….there was a thing…this thing was breaking in and…." The light came on, causing both men to jump and Tony to pull the covers over his chest comically. Steve turned toward the door and spotted Natasha, groggy and standing amongst a pile of Iron Suit parts. She was in nothing more than a scant black nightgown and throw over robe. The only time Tony saw that was when he had looked her up before hiring her a year or so back. The man took note of how Steve wasn't phased by her lack of clothing. Perhaps because he was involved. Or maybe he was just used to it. Things were different at the compound, and Tony was starting to notice.

"Steve what the hell….if you guys are gunna Shebang in here keep it down…" She looked down at the parts on the floor then looked back up with her eyes. "Kinky…." With that she closed her translucent black robe and stormed off.

Steve looked back at Tony, who was trying to catch his breath at this point. "What the hell is this?! Wait…whoa are you ok? Tony? Tony talk to me…is this a code ick? Should I…"

"Must have called it in my sleep." Tony stuttered in a shaken voice. This had happened once before and it ended badly. This time…was different. Steve approached the bed and sat on the edge. He reached up and felt Tony's brow before making him lie back. This was new to Tony. Normally when something crazy happens in his life his romantic partner would abandon him to go sleep downstairs. He eyed Steve then muttered an apology. Steve just shook his head and got him snug and comfortable. "You must have been having a fever dream or something. That might be why the suit came to defend you. That's actually kinda cool come to think of it. Wish my shield did something that impressive." He looked to the Frisbee in distain. "Where are you when I need you…..jerk…." He looked back when Tony let out a little grunt "Are you ok?" he asked in a soothing voice as he brushed back some of his hair.

"Confused….mostly, and a little woozy….but confused for sure…what…..just happened? What is this right now?" Steve's brow rose a bit as he chuckled softly. "What's the matter Stark? Not used to someone actually caring for you?" Tony shook his head slowly then peeked over at his dismantled suit. "Damn…glad I wasn't in it…." Steve looked back and cringed. "Yeeeaahhh…sorry about that…." The two met eyes again and Tony smiled as he scooted to the side some. "Sorry you got woken up to all this. Welcome to my life." He let out a chuckle then watched Steve climb into bed. "You don't really have any room to talk here Tony. If it's not Hydra agents trying to kill me it's my best friend trying to kill me…or my boyfriend's Iron Suit….so I guess we're even." Tony was curling into him as he spoke but stopped. "I thought I was your best friend…"

"You are?"

"Who's this other best friend you speak of…."

"Stark he was just a war buddy."

"Does this war buddy have a name?"

"Tony are you jealous?" Steve's voice sounded almost amused. He even added a giggle when Tony's cheeks turned red. "You are! I've never seen this side of you Stark…I dunno if I like it." He snorted a bit, trying to fight the giggle fit that was about to explode out of him. "Not jealous…I don't get…jealous…I'm just not a fan of finding out you had yourself another best friend…" Steve cooed a bit as he pulled Tony in. This wasn't really part of his normal character, but it was becoming routine. He began to run fingers through his partner's hair as he rocked him a bit. "I'm your best friend. I'm more than your best friend. I'm your Dorito."

"Don't say Dorito. I can already feel it coming up." Steve laughed and cuddled up to him, keeping the petting in a rhythm. "Is there anything I can say to ease your mind at all?" He thought for a moment then spoke again, "I never cuddled Bucky like this."

"So he does have a name. Is that a first name?"

"Nickname."

"You mean pet name. I don'wike it." Steve chuckled again and gave Tony a little squeeze. "Alright alright…I'm sorry. I'll never speak of him again, does that help?" Tony sighed hard and curled up to his chest. "Maybe. Just…he has a pet name…I don't…" Again, the laughter erupted, causing Tony to smile in secret. "Alright! Ok, sorry! What would you want me to call you? I mean I could go into something cliché by calling you honey…or baby. But it doesn't suit you. The one you have for me is perfect…unique and fitting. " He went into a deep thought then looked back down at his now drifting partner. "Porcupine…" He muttered with a smirk. Tony had his eyes closed, seemingly asleep, but his brow rose a bit as if to reply. Steve reached under the bed and pulled out a book, tossing it at the switch on the wall to cause the room to go dark other than that blue glow. He cuddled Tony to settle him back down after startling him, then confirmed everything with a light kiss on the other's brow. Porcupine fit him…perfectly.

Spoo: FUCK! THE END!

Steve: Language.


	5. Slice of Life

Spoot: I'm well aware, so shut up.

Tony: You're gunna work yourself into the ground. Here, have a drink.

Slice of Life

Bruce pulled up one of the arm chairs, twisting it so he could sit in it backwards, resting his arms on the back of it while he straddled the seat. "Ok, so start over…" He began, reaching for his beer on the coffee table. Tony sat up a bit, setting his own drink down. "Alright, so picture this…we both have aim on this guy, right…" As he spoke, Steve reached over and began to rub his back. "And, he puts his hands up like this, like he's in some kinda movie! Steve just told the guy to run, and the fucker shits his pants and takes off. Not kidding you, SHIT…his pants…..shit...his…Steve where you at?" He looked over his shoulder, watching the other man. Steve finally looked up from his book. "Huh? Oh…language." With that he went right back to his page as he pet the other man with his free hand.

They were comfortable with each other now and stable in their affections. It had also become second nature to everyone around them. They were finally in a good place. Settled in a routine. The relationship was in it's fourth year, even withstanding a major blowout over Bucky a year prior. Steve was invested completely. Watching him with Tony now you would never suspect he was shy in the beginning. Tony was positively imprisoned by Steve and loving it. You couldn't tell where one ended and the other began. They were synced up in about everything they did. From missions and work, to sleeping and just relaxing on the couch.

Bruce watched Natasha join the group with her drink. He gave her a smile and she returned it before she focused on her favorite couple. "What are you guys talking about?" She asked as she brought the glass to her lips. "Tony was just explaining to Bruce here about something that never happened."

"I'm telling you Dorito, the guy crapped his pants, I could smell it." Steve looked up from his book and shook his head. "The guy didn't crap himself." Tony jerked around and gave his partner a look. Steve returned it and the two began to argue telepathically. Natasha looked to Bruce and nudged him. "What am I thinking?" Bruce jumped a bit then looked to her in shock. "I'I'I dunno? Should I know? I should know."

"Relax Bannerbean, I'm kidding, don't shoot." She sipped her drink then looked to the beer in his hand. She took it from him and smelled the contents. She shrugged then took a sip then handed it back. "Domestic. Nice choice." She was about to flirt a bit more but was cut off by an outburst. Tony stood fast and held his arms out. "SO! So what, so I'm just always wrong?! You suck Rodgers…no, don't even look at me with that tone!" Natasha and Banner looked to each other then both busted into a giggle fit. "Fine, go be mad." Steve snapped as he crossed his arms. "Poor Stark can't admit he's wrong." Tony wagged a finger in his partner's face. Steve just grabbed his hand and bit down on that finger gently then let him go and went back to his book.

Eventually the room cleared of the power couple who headed to bed. The only two guests left at the party sat in silent discomfort for a while until Natasha finally spoke. "I can pole dance." Bruce jumped almost out of his skin as he looked to her. That kind of confession was not just to start a normal conversation. He stared at her with wide eyes as she stood up. "Uh'huh…." She muttered seductively as she brushed a hand across his cheek, making her way over to the stereo. Bruce sat up fast and held up a hand. "Natasha, no don't…you'll wake up…um…they'll be mad if you…" She giggled as she ran her fingertips over a few buttons while she looked to him playfully. "Please….they're not asleep." She pressed her back to the wall and rested a head on it. Her ear picked up on a light...naughty little moan. She looked back to Bruce. "Wanna do what they're doing?"

"You…are so drunk right now…" He huffed out in a panic. Her brow rose as she smirked a bit. She made sure to roll away from the wall seductively as she hit the power button. Music began to flow through the room, causing one of the dirty boys in the other room to bang on the wall. "Told ya…" She said softly as she approached him. His face was already turning red, which was better than green. She put a hand to his cheek and swayed a bit, making sure to dip low enough to let his eyes make contact with her perfect cleavage. He had to push up his glasses to keep them from slipping off his nose as her chest touched down. "Come on Banner…dance with me. You can be the pole if you're not good at footwork…" Bruce went into hyperspace for a second as she moved her way around his chair slowly. It was about to be girls gone wild in here and he wasn't sure he could handle it in that moment. He knew she wanted to get a little crazy, but the guy residing inside of him wouldn't know how to handle it.

It had happened once before. Natasha got him flustered and right before she took him down right there on the kitchen floor…Big Guy took over and almost snapped her in half. He wasn't trying to play hard to get, nor was he at all prudish. He just didn't want her…dead. Her hand landed on his shoulder and worked it's way around his back and to the other shoulder as she leaned in. Her smirk was broken by her tongue peeking through and running along the top lip slowly. She knew that was what set him off the most.

He was already trying to stand up. She let him, making sure to work her way around in an eye contact dance so he couldn't look away from her. She got in front of him, both hands on his shoulders. She forced him back down into the chair then straddled him. She held on as she began to lean backwards, letting her head end up between his knees. Her hair brushed the floor then she jerked back up and twisted her waist a bit. "I love how shy you are…" She purred as she removed his glasses. It was cute she thought so. Bruce was far from it. He was just cautious for good reason. If only he had more control over the beast…he would show her.

She put his glasses on her head, pushing her hair away from her face. "Don't make me beg Big Guy…" Bruce blinked a few times then put his hands on her hips. She thought it was playtime, but he forced her to get up as he stood. "Gross….you don't want me…" Her eyes widened a bit as she stepped back. "You want the other guy…that's just weird." He turned away from her but got pulled back. "If I wanted it rough, maybe…." She spoke as she put a hand on his cheek. "I'm not putting on a show for him Bruce…this is all yours…." She grabbed his hands and put them on her body and let him explore her for a moment. "You've got it all wrong…please trust me." He looked up at her as his hands absentmindedly found their way to her perfectly sculpted bottom. She smiled and swayed her hips to the music as she drew him in.

They were both too into each other to notice Tony burst from Steve's room. "Hey! Some of us have work in the morn…ing…" He turned right back around and shut the door. Steve sat up a bit, taking in his partner's expression. "What is it? What's wrong?" Tony couldn't answer right away. He just pointed over his shoulder at the door and tilted his head. "Banner and Nat?" Steve asked, catching on. "Were they making love?" Tony shook his head. "Were they kissing at least?" Tony nodded, but quickly shook his head again, denying. "No, I mean, sorta? I dunno what that was, I didn't know Bruce could dance…" Steve chuckled as Tony joined him in bed. "They were dancing, hey…there's something we've never done."

"I don't dance Rodge." He muttered as he curled into the other man. "I mean…I do…its just not something you should see…" He wiggled around like an idiot, in this cute awkward way, making Steve laugh hard. Tony looked to him and smirked. He leaned in and stole a kiss before plopping onto his other side and turning off the light. Steve shut his eyes but they popped open again and he looked around the room. "Porcupine…." He muttered to his partner. Tony grumbled something then covered his arc reactor with the blanket, causing the room to finally go dark.

"Please tell me you got some last night." Tony said as he walked into the lab the next morning. He handed Bruce a coffee then sat at his station. Bruce was beyond disheveled. He didn't even look like he was on the same planet. "Oh yeah, you got some. Hey, I saw ya. Nnh…not the whole…nasty…boingboing…just the dancing. You got some nice moves Jolly Green!" Bruce sat up a bit. "Mmhh? Wha'?" He looked to the other man and sucked in a breath. "Tony, man…when did you get here…?" He looked down at the Starbucks in his hand then back up in a stupor. Tony's brow rose slowly. "Wow Banner…she that good?" Bruce blinked a few more times, trying to figure out how he even got in the lab. "That good?" He asked, trying to understand. "Nat? What? She said she…could pole dance….but I didn't…know her legs could go that high…"

"OOOHHH BRUCYPOO! Thaaaank you for this, no seriously! I needed this! Ok, come on. Tell me everything!" Bruce looked to him still trying to figure out what his own name was. "Nnnoo…she's just…limber. We…" Reality hit and his eyes widened. "NOO! We…Nat, not, we didn't!" Tony was nodding as he tapped on a holoscreens. "Yeah ya did. You probably just don't wanna talk about it. Hey! I get it man, last thing you wanna hear is what goes on between me and Steve. Right?" Bruce shook his head as he brought the cup to his lips. "Well, that's too bad." Tony looked up with a smile so evil coffee came out of Banner's nose. "Remember that vibraniam project I was working on? Well, I finished it…and used it…last night." He spun in his stool then rolled himself over to his coworker. He took the coffee cup from him and sat it down before it went everywhere.

"I wanna explain how it works. Stop me anytime. But to do so you gotta tell me about Nat."

"We never…"

"So basically it's a sleeve. It can withstand corrosive material, which…is what Dorito is full of. So you slip it onnn…and…"

"Tony….god…please, we didn't…"

"Bam! I can play cowboy all night long. Yipykiyay mother fu…"

Steve looked up from his book when he heard a crashing noise. His brow furrowed as he stood up. "NOT IN THE LAB BANNER!" Steve rushed into action after hearing his partner's panicked cries. He dashed down the ramp and curled in, using his shoulder to bust through and break into the lab. He skid to a stop and looked up as he caught his breath. "Ok…whoa there Big Guy….its me…what's going on…" Tony sat up, cracking his head on the underside of the table he was using as a hiding place. "Did you bust my door too Green Bean!"

"No that was me….you're not in danger?"

"Well not yet!" Tony looked up and started to wave his hands around. "It works like a charm! YAH!" He smiled as he nodded like an idiot. Hulk didn't like this so he flung Tony's hiding place across the room. "What are you doing Stark…" Steve asked as he approached them both. "Trying to get a confession. Seriously Banner, How limber is she!" He covered his head as smashing began to take place. He was laughing at this so Steve sighed and left the room. "Idiot." He muttered, going back to his cubby hole.

He picked up his book and decided a glass of tea would go great with the chapter. He moseyed into the kitchen and caught eyes with Natasha. "Good morning." She said as she set her mug down. Steve eyed the clock then gave her a face. She giggled as she sat back, stretching a bit. "So I slept in. So what. So did Bruce." Steve shut the fridge door and turned a bit. "No, he was in the lab…sorta." This seemed to be confusing the woman at the table. She sat up a bit as she shook her head slightly. "Mm'no….no. We went to bed. I know we did. We danced a while then he got tired and I suggested we share my room…"

"And then what…"

"And….shit, and then…" Steve sat at the table while she searched her mind. "We fell asleep." She finished, looking to him. "You don't seem too sure of that. Did you drink too much?" He asked as he sipped his tea. She nodded slowly then held up a finger. "But so did he. Bruce. He was toasted by the end of the night. I mean, the guy didn't turn down going to my room. He even agreed to share the bed. He was…really drunk…" Steve was nodding. "Maybe you two…fondue'd. Y'know. You just don't remember." Natasha stood fast and thanked him for some reason then dashed from the room while he laughed.

Bruce was splashing cold water on his face using the lab's eye rinse station. He stood up and faced Tony. "Feel better Banner?" He asked as he handed over a towel. The other man took it and covered his face as he nodded. "Good, so maybe now you can clean up this mess…" Bruce lowered the towel, ready to protest but both men turned their attention to the red head bursting into the lab. "I gotta borrow him thank you!" She hollered out in one breath as she snatched Bruce away. He sputtered a few words then grabbed her arms to stop her. "Nat, what's wrong? What are you doing…" She didn't answer, she just latched onto him after using an escape maneuver to break his hold. Tony giggled and leaned into them. "Natty wants more…" He joked…but she agreed with a goofy head bob. Bruce jerked his head around to look at her in disbelief. "More? More what?" She pulled on him as she spoke, "More you. Come on. I wanna test something." She pulled a beer from her back pocket and handed it to him as she pushed him from the room. "Drink…drink fast. Gogogo!"

Tony took a break after about ten minutes of working alone. He retreated to the kitchen when he caught the sent of boiled eggs. He found Steve standing at the sink peeling one. He leaned in and put his arms around his partner from behind him. "Finally figured out how to use the stove…" He purred as he kissed Steve's neck. "ha ha…ha. Shut up. I've gotten better so leave me alone." He got the egg clean then held it up. "It's perfect." He wiggled it in Tony's face. "Seriously. Touch it." The other man made a face and pulled away. "Touch my egg. It's amazing. It's just right. Touch it…you wanna…." Tony stepped back and put his hands up. "Touch it Stark…." Steve turned to him and penetrated his bubble. "Touch my egg…"

"This just got sexual." He muttered as he took the egg. "Maybe." Steve said slyly, watching the other man bite down in a seductive way. When he was sure most of the masticated food was gone, he captured Tony's lips. The kiss didn't last long because Natasha came rushing by in super panic. "LESSON LEARNED!" She screamed. The men watched as the Hulk came rushed by in hot pursuit. They looked to each other and giggled before clearing the table…

Natasha watched the man sitting across from her. She inspected his face as he jerked the beer bottle from his lips. She watched him set it down then looked back up into his eyes, watching for signs of transformation. "Anything…" She asked cautiously. Bruce shook his head and pushed the beer bottled over to the ten other empty ones. "I don't understand Nat. What will getting me drunk do?" She leaned in slowly, reaching across the table to grab his hands. She was about to make contact when she noticed the weird corroded spot. She jerked her hands away comically then sat back. "I'm just trying to test something out, honest. I have this theory." Bruce looked up at her in confusion. She was starting to sound like Stark. "That's not attractive." He said aloud, then noticed he said it and covered it. "Sounding like Stark…I dunno…" She giggled and leaned in again. "What's it take to get you shit faced Banner…" He shrugged then looked to the bottles, counting them. He looked to her and held up a finger. "One more. Then maybe…" She leaned over the chair and grabbed one from the sink she fashioned into a cooler for the time being. She handed it over then watched closely as he began to suck it down.

He took to this better than she thought. She giggled a bit as she pictured Bruce as a frat boy in a nerd college. He set the bottle down then looked to her and shook his head. She let out a groan and stood, pacing the room as she thought. "What are we missing. What changed…" It hit her and she snapped her fingers. "Music….dancing….touching! You gotta move your body Bruce! Get up!" She grabbed at him but jerked away just as quick when he gave her a warning look. He stood on his own and eyed her. "You want me to move…fine. I'm moving. See. I'm up. Happy?" She sighed and crossed her arms, but nodded anyway. "I don't see what the big deal is! What are you trying to figure out?! What…you…you wanna find out if I'm a mean drunk? I'm not!" She stiffened up a bit, fear filling her eyes as she watched him pick up an empty beer bottle. "I'm not even drunk! I don't feel anything! You're messing with me aren't you!" He growled as he looked to her. She shook her head, using tiny unthreatening motions. He threw the bottle into the wall and slammed his hands down on the table. "STOP LYING TO ME!" With that she jerked a gun out from behind her and took aim. Bruce, for once, didn't back down. He just glared at her in anger….for a few more second…then blinked and looked down at his hands. "Nat….." He slowly looked up at her in utter shock.

She let out a little squeal when he slapped the gun from her hands and grabbed her up by the hips. "WHA…what…Bruce?" He dipped her….and planted a deep kiss right smack dab on those thick lips of hers. She swatted at him so he lifted her back up and broke the kiss. "I didn't go green…" She looked confused a second as she spoke. "You didn't go green…..you didn't go green?! You didn't go GREEN! AAAH!" She latched onto him and bounced a bit. "I didn't go green!" He yelped out as he pulled her in. He sighed a bit then came back to reality. "How long do you think it'll last…" She swatted at him then threw her arms around his neck. "Who cares. Take me, right here."

Something wasn't right. Everything was going so good but now it felt like she was the only one in the room. She stopped moving and looked down at the man she was on top of. Her eyes narrowed as he let out a snore. Noted. A twelve pack will send him to the moon. It just takes a minute. She gathered her thoughts then pat his chest. "Bruce…" She whispered, patting again, a little bit harder. "Bruce wake up. Bruce…" She moved from his chest and pat his cheek. He didn't even move. She sat up a bit, ignoring the strain it was putting on her insides. Every ounce of trust was about to go into this next move. She reared back and slapped the glasses clean off his face.

He let out a snort as he jerked a bit, causing her to moan softly. He flailed his arms then grabbed his glasses and put them on as he looked around. "Where are we…w'what happened….did we win?" He looked up at her. "W'w'what's so funny? Nat…this is serious….did we defeat Ultron…" He sucked in a breath as she wiggled her hips. His eyes widened a bit. "Oooh its much worse…." She hovered over him slowly, as to not upset the connection. "This is worse…." She asked in a soft, strange tone as she kissed his neck. Her hips were already starting to move again.

"Worse than Ultron? I'm gunna say no…but I'm still confused." He watched her body swaying and rolling on top of him as if she were a vampire goddess taking in a meal. "You passed out. No big deal." She said in that soft tone. She began to rise slowly while she bounced gently. He watched with wide eyes, now catching on. "My god, I didn't go green…" She was fluffing her hair away from her neck with her arms. "Natasha I think we're having sex…"

"What was your first clue." There was something about this voice that was starting to do something to him. She didn't sound like herself. She was soft…seductive without trying…human. She was human. He reached up and put his hands around her hips and watched her dance atop him. Everything was in slow motion at that moment, but…it was working. He sucked on his lips and went with it. He finally had a loophole. He could be with her.

The boys stepped into the kitchen the next morning and both instinctively looked down. "I'm not cleaning that up." Steve said as Tony kicked at Bruce's foot. Natasha felt someone else in the room and she was right back to square one. She was awake before they knew it. Instinct took over and she grabbed Steve's leg and yanked him down before she knew what she was doing. When he yelped, she realized and sat up. It dawned on her…as well…that Tony was in the room. The only thing she had to cover herself with was Banner's shirt. She grabbed it up and hugged it to her chest as she looked on at them like a wild animal.

Steve stood, fighting back the urge to crack up and just walk away. He knew Tony would be mad. Natasha scooted away from Bruce as she tried to wake him without taking eyes of the other men. She knew them and trusted them, her head was just in a weird place. It was survival right now until further notice. Tony kicked at Bruce again, causing him to finally stir. "Hey…hey Banner…good job." He looked around as Tony was speaking. He spotted Natasha, naked and trying to cover herself with his clothes. He looked to the shards of her dress and cringed.

When it finally dawned on him he sat up fast and put a hand over his exposed private parts. Steve couldn't take it anymore and started to laugh. Tony looked back at him with narrowed eyes. "Remove yourself from the situation…." Steve nodded and left the room as he tried to collect himself. Tony looked back down at them, about to go off, but instead he just watched as Bruce inspected Natasha while he dressed her in his shirt properly. He decided nothing needed to be said so he backed out of the room slowly, leaving them alone.

"Are you ok?" He asked as he buttoned up the shirt. Natasha nodded, watching his hands. She finally looked up at him and put a hand to his cheek. "You didn't go green." She said with a smirk. He shook his head then ran a hand through his hair. "No, but I feel like I did, what hit me…" She giggled and handed over his pants. "A two ton bus named Natasha." He looked to her with a smile, agreeing with a nod. She kissed him and got up, instructing him to get dressed. He watched her cross the room, enchanted by her body and how good it looked in his shirt. She had a habit of stealing articles of clothing from everyone else. He knew for a fact he was never getting that button up back.

The day had already hit the mid mark. Tony had suggested finishing some work at home and Steve followed. They had got into a conversation about moving in together and before long it was clear that the next few days were gunna be consumed by packing and rearranging parts of the tower. Steve was about to call this place his own. Tony had already finished his work and was about to start up a very important mission when Jarvis spoke. "Sir, Director Fury wishes to speak with you." Tony looked up and sighed. "Tell him I'm not in." Steve tilted his head and frowned. "But you are in." He was cut off as he threw his head back. "YEP! You're in…"

"Tell him I'll call him back, I'm busy trying to…hmm…figure out the complexities of human interaction. I'm studying the brain. What happens to a perfect soldier when he's…"

"Sir, he's insisting."

"Well tell him to insist somewhere else…and if he shows up in my home so help me…I'll record the next three playtimes and send them his way."

"I heard that." Came a voice from the other side of the door. "Get dressed and get out here Stark I'm not a patient man." Tony narrowed his eyes as he looked down at Steve. "Rain check? I'm sorry." He leaned in and kissed his partner before pulling out and hopping off the bed. Steve was clearly…not happy here. He sat up and watched Tony throw on some pants, not bothering to button up. He watched him open the door a crack and let himself out. Revenge was gunna be sweet. Fury took something and he wanted it back…

Natasha was in the middle of putting her hair up when a knock came at her door. She smiled and leaned on the cold metal that separated her and whoever was on the other side. "Bruce, listen…it was fun…but honey…I gotta rest…" She squealed as the door opened causing her to fall into Steve's arms. "Hey cowboy." She joked. He hoisted her up playfully, like a big brother. He entered her room and body slammed her on the bed, laughing as she bounced. "I got a favor to ask." She sat up slowly, tossing a pillow at him before getting up. "You want my womb. Sorry Rodgers…" He shot her a look, smiling a bit. She too, smiled and nudged him. "What do you need, I got your back."

"I know you keep most of what Jarvis records in the lab and around the compound." Her hair stood up almost cartoonishly. "WHO TOLD YOU!" Steve looked to her with an evil grin. "You just did. Where are they…" She was flapping her hands around like an idiot now, watching him as he started to search. "Rodgers listen I don't…"

"I've seen everything in this drawer. I know the big one is a flashlight, and no….I'm not afraid of your panties." He looked up at her and crossed his arms. "Where are they…" She wasn't about to give anything away, but her eyes betrayed her as they darted to the closet and back at him. He turned and flung the door open as she squeaked out a protest. "I don't care why you have them Nat, I know why." He stood and turned as he hoisted up a box. "You're easy to read little sister." He said with a smirk as he walked away.

"WAIT! Wait….the blank ones aren't recordings…." She said in such a sheepish ashamed voice. He turned and presented the box to her, allowing her to remove any naughty material she had. "Are you sure what I need is in here…" He asked, making her look to him. "What are you looking for Steve? You wanna see where you go wrong, maybe improve?"

"Whoa…what."

"You're good Rodgers, not that good. You're too cautious. I know why. But you're thinking about it too much. You're not there, in the moment. Maybe think about that while you're doing…whatever this is."

"I'll be editing these and sending them to Nick." Her brow rose as she eyed him up and down. She threw her hands in the air and turned, shutting the door in his face, not willing to be a part of whatever was going on. He just giggled and went about his business.

"Sir. What is it?" Hill asked as she leaned over, inspecting the strange disk on Fury's desk. "Well, it says…Hydra secrets on it but something tells me that's not the case." He said as he tapped the disk with a pen. She snatched it and looked it over. "It's fresh, recently burned to the disk…" She eyed him, "Who sent it?"

"Stark."

"Then it's probably porn."

"That was my first guess."

She threw caution to the wind and popped the disk in a slot then pulled up a screen. She lowered herself to sit at the corner of his desk, not really caring she was on the job. The image on screen had her…captivated. Nick put a hand over his eye and just sighed. "At least turn down the volume Hill…" She did as she was told without looking away. "They just go at it don't they…" Fury growled and pressed his hand harder into his skull, trying to shove his eye up his brain. "I'm honestly impressed. I'm not even mad, sir you should see this." He shook his head then slapped her hand away as she tried to grab at him. "I mean it just eats right through whatever it touches!" This got him. He yanked his hands down and looked up. He blinked a few times then stood. "We could use this…"

"Sir, Director Fury is here." Tony sat up a bit when Jarvis broke his concentration. He grabbed up a pencil right as Nick entered the lab. "Yep! Working hard!" Tony said as he tapped on some things and pretended to look over some blank papers. Fury didn't care at this point. That job could wait. He held up a metal cup. "Vibraniam drinking glass?" Tony said as he tilted his head. Nick handed it over. "Get him to fill it. I know you can." Tony inspected the cup then looked to him. "You want…me to get who…Steve? To what? Fill this? With what?" Nick raised a brow and Tony knew. His eyes widened slowly as he lowered the cup and tucked it under the desk. "Be a good boy and fill this for daddy…." Nick's eye widened now as well as he looked from the desk to Tony and back again. He sucked in a breath and stuck his hand out. "BOY!" He shouted. Tony just shrugged.

At first it all seemed like a big joke so both men pushed it out of their minds as the next few days took up their attention. Steve turned as Tony instructed and hoisted the bed up over his head. Stark walked over, putting a hand on the other man's back as he leaned over. He picked up some fast food bags he had been hiding then let Steve know he could move the bed into the bigger room. When they had finished rearranging the living quarters of the tower they found themselves sitting on the couch while they both went into their own worlds.

Tony was flipping through channels as he gabbed on about a project he was trying to finish. Steve listened while reading over the next chapter of his book. Tony looked to him and tilted his head. "Are you actually listening? I think it could work." Steve looked up and smiled. "Sorry. I'm just tired. We've been working pretty hard and I did all the heavy lifting, literally I lifted all the heavy things…" Tony giggled and plopped over into him, resting his head in his lap. He listened to Steve's stomach digest the Thai food then looked up. "Remember that thing Nick wanted?" Steve nodded as he turned a page. "What do you think he's planning…" Steve looked down at him and shrugged. "I dunno. But it's never gunna happen."

Tony sat up. "What if he's planning to use your unique baby gravy…"

"Baby gravy? Tony…"

"What if he knows something we don't…."

"Tony! You're not gunna….milk me! No! I'm putting my foot down." The other man let out a sigh then put his head back down. "You're right. That's just weird. And honestly not fair." Steve waited, because there was more, knowing Tony. "But, what if…" There it was, "What if it could be used for good? What if we could use it to destroy weapons."

"In other words creating a weapon to destroy weapons. Then what? Use it to destroy people? No."

"We'll oversee it. Yeah! No one gets to do anything unless we say so…unless you say so."

"And what if it falls into the wrong hands."

"It'll just eat through'em." He watched Steve, not find that funny, so he sat up. "It already fell into the wrong hands. Mine." He smiled bright then rubbed on Steve's neck. "Think it over. This could be put to good use. At the end of the day, you say no, we don't do it. Ok…" Steve nodded, getting comfy with the other man. "Fine, I'll think it over. But don't get your hopes up." Tony nodded as he wrapped his arms around his partner's leg. "Everything is up to you Dorito."

Bruce approached Stark's work station and leaned in. By the weeks end the events of the passed few days had died down. Everyone settled back into their normal ways like hookup's and odd requests never happened. He put a finger to the screen and adjusted something on it. Tony moved passed him in a rhythm that they shared while they worked. They hadn't said much to each other due to the project taking up their attention. Bruce looked to him, watching as the man grabbed up a bag of cookies. He rolled his eyes and locked in his adjustments. He took the cookie offered to him then sat back in his seat. He nibbled as he thought over a few things. He took Tony by surprise when he stood fast. "Crumbs!" He yelped.

Tony looked to him in confusion. Bruce was already pushing him out of the way so he could get back to the screen. "Why didn't I see it before. I know you think I'm out of my mind but that's what we're missing." He began to redo what he had just locked in. "Nnnoo…no I'm listening. You're on to something, fill me in Big Guy." As soon as Bruce opened his mouth the lab was penetrated. Tony looked up. He pointed a finger. "Not while I'm working."

"That's not why I'm here…so relax Banner." Steve approached Tony and pulled him off to the side. "Can I talk to you?"

"Her name was Misty. She was a one time thing, and yes, I still think about her."

"Cute. Listen…I wanna talk about that…thing with Fury…" Tony twitched and turned himself a bit. "You got this right Bruce?" The man looked up and confusion set in. "Uuuh…yes? Are you seriously doing this now? We're…"

"It's nothing like that. Little thing with Fury. He wants me to help him create a bioweapon to end all bioweapons." Bruce was so flabbergasted his whole head shook like crazy. "Uh…yeah, sure yes…you go ahead. But it better be true…" Tony was pulling Steve from the room. "Tell'em. He can't lie, I think it's a thing."

"He's right, I can't lie." Steve giggled out as he was jerked from the room. Bruce just stood there in a stupor, slowly taking off his glasses. "Great….now what…" He answered that with an idea. He hit a button on the call box and smirked. "Nat….yeah…..go get a twelve pack."

"So…lets see…." Tony was inspecting the cup. He looked down at his partner then back at the cup. "No instructions on this…ah hell. Guess we'll just wing it." He knelt down and tapped Steve's belt with the cup, causing it to ring. "Drop'em." Steve's face was starting to turn bright red. "Tony this is…I mean is it too late to change my mind? I dunno…" He went quiet as he watched the other man undo everything. "Hi honey! Miss me!"

"Tony…"

"Oh look! He did! Hiii! He's coming up for a hug! Should I give him a hug?"

"You know you shouldn't…Tony, please…something isn't right about this." Tony looked up and smiled. "Relax Rodgers. You can back out if you want, but at least give it a shot…PPFFT! Get it!" Steve rolled his eyes and shoved Tony back, using a little bit more strength than he should. He giggled and helped him up as he apologized. Tony shook his head hard and looked around. "Anybody get the number of that bus?!" He looked to Steve and giggled as well. "Ok Dorito. Lets get to work…" Steve slapped a hand over his face in disgust as Tony turned on baby making music. "Come on, loosen up Rodgers. Can't make a bioweapon like this. You gotta relax." He inched closer to him and put arms around his neck. "We can dance…come on."

"My pants are down." He muttered. "Hadn't noticed. Come on…I know this is awkward but the sooner we get it over with the better. Don't actually make me milk you." Steve glared at him at this point then shook his head as a warning. "Well then work with me!" His hand began to travel south then made touchdown. "You're already half mast….come on…just a quick pew pew…that's all we need." Steve was through. He put his hands up and Tony let him go. He turned and pulled his pants up then walked off, shutting himself in the bathroom. Tony sighed and looked down at the cup. "Looks like neither of us are getting any action tonight pal…"

Tony put a finger in his ear, making sure the other two noticed he was annoyed at the order barking. Fury slapped a hand down on the table and turned away. Maria leaned in and sighed. "Maybe he needs a woman's touch…" Tony scoffed. "I mean…maybe he needs a gentle voice. A friend…to talk him out of the insecurities. Does he have anyone like that?" Tony looked to her then sat up a bit. "Romanoff." Hill spread her hands out, gesturing a job well done. "She won't do it." Fury barked. "She'll give in the second he disagrees. I know her." Hill rolled her eyes. "He thinks." She said under her breath. Fury turned to her fast. "If you have a problem Hill then might I suggest you speak with me in private." She looked away, like a scolded child. "Yes sir…" She muttered. Fury looked back to Tony and crossed his arms. "Just do what you do best." Tony smirked. "I'll need strawberries…."

Steve looked up…again, from his page. He was watching Tony nibble on a strawberry. The more he watched the more he envied that little red fruit. He shook his head fast and looked back at his book. No. He was angry. He wasn't speaking to that moron. How dare he make light of a stressful situation. How dare he even consider…milking. How dare he…his eyes drifted up again, watching Tony lick some juice off his finger…slowly. "Do you mind…" He barked. Tony looked up. "Hmm? Oh, didn't see ya. So quiet over there…you? You want one? Strawberry that is?" He held the box out but Steve just went back to his book. So it was gunna be like that…Tony smirked.

Steve was about to finish that chapter when he heard a grunt. He looked up and spotted Stark standing on his tiptoes inches from him. "What are you doing…." Tony looked down at him then lowered his arms. "Dusting. Am I bothering you?" He moved a bit…spreading his legs over Steve's as he reached up again. His belly touched down with his partner's face, the little button on his pants touching Steve's nose. The said man rolled his eyes and ignored it as he went back to his book. He figured it was Stark's way of trying to make up for being an idiot. By being a bigger idiot.

Round three had Steve ready to rage. He was watching Tony tinker with a suit…right there in the living room. Stark had abandoned a shirt and it was nothing but sweat glitter from there. Steve hadn't really noticed this. He was more angry about the oil on the carpet. He slapped down his book, causing Tony to jump a bit. "Are you kidding me?!"

"Maybe? I dunno. You're mad. Should I be worried?" Steve nodded slowly as his eyes contorted into narrow slits. Tony held his hands up in surrender then stood. "Ok, I admit it. I'm trying to get in your pants…" He followed as Steve stood and marched from the room. "Only because I'm.." He grunted as the bedroom door shut in his face. "Ok…I'm sorry. Trying to get that sample. Was gunna trick you out of it…that's on me." The door opened a bit and Steve eyed him from the crack. "Why not just ask…"

"I'm asking."

"No." With that he shut the door. Tony leaned up against it and sighed. "So you don't wanna see what good it can do…." It was quiet. He put a hand on the door gently. "Rodgers come on. It could really help people. Imagine a young lady…all alone, some dark alley…heading home from work…and this guy, this…criminal jumps out at her with a gun drawn. Instead of pepper spray she pulls out a little cartage of your…bioweapon…sprays it, and takes his hand out along with that gun…she just saved herself thanks to you…" The door slowly opened and Tony came face to face with Cap. He smiled and kissed him while pushing him into the room...and shutting the door.

Fury looked up right as a little cup was slammed down on the table. He looked up at a very angry Tony. "Strawberries…" Tony just snarled and pointed a finger in the man's face. "This better go to good use…I'm serious Nick. I lied to him to get this. I mean I told a whopper…and if he finds out you're using it for some bullshit world domination crap he'll never forgive me." Fury didn't feel threatened. He just sat back as he picked up the little cup. He looked it over then smelled it as if it were a stiff drink. "Hmm…figured it would have a stench. It smells like lavender." Tony twisted around in confusion as he grabbed the cup. He sniffed it then looked inside. "What…" He stuck his finger in then pulled it out and inspected the contents. "Lotion? This is hand lotion…" His eyes widened. "Oh he's good…"

"Find that sample and get it back here Stark…"

"Just one problem. I dunno where the other stuff is…" He was inspecting the cup now as well. He tapped it on the side of the table and nothing happened. "This isn't even vibraniam…" Both men looked to each other. Eye contact was made right before they both rushed from the room in a panic.

Fury busted into the compound then rushed down the hall, pushing a few people out of the way. Tony was on the other side of town heading to his tower. The man kicked down the doors of the lab as he took out his gun. "STOP!" He yelped as he took aim. Steve looked to him…with a smirk…right as he handed a little cup to Bruce. "Are you gunna shoot Nick? I wouldn't. This stuff crawls." Bruce realized what he had in his hand and a sick look crossed his face comically. He turned and rushed the sample to a table and set it down then started trying to clean his hands on anything he could.

"I need that…" Steve was leaning on the table now, not at all threatened. "Lets see…you've got a rage monster and a super soldier here…protecting something. Mmh…I would stand down." Nicks eye narrowed, his tone very stern, yet calm. "Protecting…what…"

"Stella…mmh, or if it's a boy, Clive." Nick's eye twitched a bit, but he kept that bead on Rodgers. "So you're hoping to create something worse than a bioweapon. You're gunna give it life…" Steve nodded as he smiled. He hadn't noticed Tony barge in now. "See I figure I'll talk it over with Stark, see how he feels about it…then I'll have Bruce start as soon as he can." Nick slowly lowered the gun. "Wait, are you telling me…" Steve giggled as Nick crossed the room to join him. "I'm thinking by the time Tony agrees Bruce should already have the DNA structure ready."

"What DNA structure…" Tony muttered as he approached. Steve looked to him and stood fast. "Can we talk about this later?!" Tony grabbed Bruce as he tried to sneak away. "Ohh we're talking about it now. Steve what the hell are you doing?" Fury looked to him in a rage. "He's trying to create another super soldier." Tony gasped, ready to tear into his partner, but he was silenced in one heart stopping statement. "Not a soldier. A child." Everyone looked to Steve now. He put his hands up and continued. "The other night…Tony was trying to get the first sample. There was something about it that made me feel weird. The whole time I was sad. My feelings were hurt and I couldn't understand why. So while he was out in a meeting with you, I took a walk, trying to clear my head. I went down to the park and it was there I realized what was missing from our equation. Life. So I called Bruce, asked him all kinds of questions. He had to dumb it down for me but basically he said he could incubate anything with just two sources. Natasha said something that made me feel weird too. I asked her for a favor the other day…and she offered her womb as a joke. That's what got me thinking about it." He looked to Tony and smiled. "Just need your DNA…and the ok."

Tony was in a stupor, ignorant to the other people in the room. "You…want a family?" Steve nodded and nudged him. "With you…obviously." Tony grabbed him and planted a kiss on him, still ignorant to the others. Bruce looked to Nick who looked to him. The two shrugged then Nick spoke. "Still need that sample." Steve broke free and looked to them. "Oh…its at your office. I discovered something a while back. Hand lotion contains it long enough…dunno how long but…" Nick, flabbergasted, rushed from the room like an idiot. "Is that true?" Tony barked out. Steve looked to him and chuckled. "No, of course not. You honestly think I would leave something that dangerous with him? Its just lotion. I figure if you guys wanna create something helpful you can do it right here, together." Bruce held up a hand and walked away. "Alone." He yelped out. Both men laughed and looked to each other. It was official. A slice of life was in the works and they were about to embark on a very dangerous mission. Parenthood.

THE END!

Spoot: YAAAAY!

Tony: About time.

Steve: I LOVE BABIES!

Tony: See what you did.


	6. Hide and Seek

Spoot: PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME!

Tony: Do it.

Hulk: *Rages and smashes my computer*

Hide and Seek

Steve looked up for the hundredth time. He had been watching the clock. Tony was inches from him, face smashed up against a large test tube full of liquid inspecting the contents. "Watching it isn't gunna make it grow any faster." Steve muttered, looking to him. They were closing up their fifth year as a couple and were days away from becoming parents. Bruce had allowed them to bring the containment unit home by now, so they could watch over their precious experiment in comfort. It was after all, almost time.

"He said any day now." Tony mumbled, scooting his face to the other side of the glass tube, watching the weird little humanoid wiggle. Steve chuckled, acting like he wasn't on edge his damn self. He was trying to keep it cool and had been doing a great job for the last 9 months. With the clock ticking down the days his patients was starting to wear thin. Throughout the whole thing, Tony was the one in hyper observation mode. Helicopter parent alert! Every few days Steve had to force him to leave the experiment alone long enough to sleep and eat.

The creature jerked suddenly and Tony stood fast. "THIS IS IT! Oh wait no…." He went back to staring at it intently. Steve was clutching his chest in a panic. Enough was enough. "Stark when was the last time you actually ate…"

"I dunno." He muttered, not looking away from the glass. Steve stood and grabbed him by the shirt and drug him to the kitchen. He plopped his partner in a chair and started on lunch, daring that moron to move. He pulled some bread out and turned. "Park it!" He barked, causing Tony to sit back down. "I thought I heard something! Like…I dunno! Whatever sound that thing makes when it comes out. How does that happen? Is it a glass breaking orrr…what?"

"It'll be born." Steve said as he went back to making food. "Bruce said when it's incubation time was through it would just slide right out of the bottom naturally."

"No epidural? Really? What a trooper." He took the sandwich he was offered and stood long enough for Steve to force him back down. "Was gunna just eat in there! Come on! Don't you wanna be there when it happens?!" Steve sat and adjusted himself so he could eat. "Well yeah. But it's gunna be a few more days. Relax. We have everything we need. A crib and toys. Diapers and the works. It's all good papa bear…" Tony slouched as he took up his sandwich. "Mmhyeah…ok…" He lied, taking a bite.

"Sir, There has been a security breech. Sir, I'm picking up on something in the living room. Mr. Stark, may I advise you to wake up." Tony finally sat up and looked around. Steve let out a grumble and started reaching for him blindly. He finally made contact and slapped a hand over the arc reactor causing the annoying glow. "Sir, I suggest looking into this breech post haste." Tony shoved Steve's arm away then hopped out of bed like a cartoon super hero. He rushed from the room and followed instructions on where to go. He made it up the ramp and flicked on a light. The room was empty except for the incubator. He scanned the room again right as Steve joined his side. "What are we looking at Jarvis?" He asked. "I detected movement coming from this room, but its gone now." That's when they heard it. Something in the kitchen must have fallen over.

Both men rushed to the room, Cap with his shield and Stark already in the midst of suiting up. They spotted one of the lower cabinets open…and a jar of peanut butter rolled out of it and made it's way across the floor. Steve inched closer, putting his shield up. He grabbed the door as he looked back at Tony. The other man let the face plate of his sut clamp shut then he nodded quickly. Steve yanked the door off and readied to strike. He was shocked to come face to face with a little blond girl. She couldn't have been more than three and she was naked as the day she was born. She had a slice of bread in her mouth and looked just as shocked.

Tony approached as he scanned the room. "Where there's a kid…there's a parent. Where are they ankle biter." He looked to her and viewed the scan Jarvis brought up. "Sir, I advise you to lower your weapon. You'll hit Captain Rodgers." Steve looked up in confusion. "He's not aiming for me…" For the first time ever his brain caught on to something before Tony's. He reached in and grabbed the little girl and hoisted her up. "Tony….the incubator…"

"The incubator? OH RIGHT!" He ejected himself from the suit and sent it away as he rushed to the room. "IT'S GONE! EMPTY! WHERE THE HELL IS MY KID!" He called. Steve just looked to the little girl and cracked a smile as she touched his cheek. Tony trotted back into the room in a state of panic. Both occupants looked to him and Steve hoisted her up a bit more. "She's much bigger than I thought she would be."

Little Stella watched the hands coming at her. She slapped one away then slapped the other away. When she had enough she stood on the table and pointed at Bruce in anger. She would have protested but the binky in her mouth blocked her speech. Her long blond messy hair flung into her face. "She's amazing!" Bruce sang out, trying to reach her again. "She's much bigger than I thought she would be! Much older! Is she talking?" Both men nodded. Bruce looked like a kid in a candy store. He watched the little lady help herself off the table, all the while giving him dirty…Tony…looks while her breath escaped heavily from her nose. "She doesn't like you!" Steve giggled out. "Mh. No she doesn't like anybody." Tony corrected as he hoisted her up onto his hip. He already knew her so well.

They had to get rid of the crib and the diapers. Changing them out for a toddler bed and pull-ups. Everything else worked into her life just fine. By the end of the week she had already formed a bond with Clint…and no one else outside her parents. She loved helping in the kitchen when they would make a meal and her favorite time of day was Daddy Daughter work hour. She was a perfect lab assistant. All Tony had to do was point at something and she would toddle over, retrieve it and bring it to him. She wasn't much of a talker. Only protesting when Steve tried to force her to eat vegetables or use the potty on her own. Her favorite word was the almighty NO!

Steve crossed the room, stepping over the little one. "Ok, so I figure, after we get in, you can make the adjustments to the power so we can cut security." Tony wasn't listening. He was watching Stella make her way down the wall. Her little hands sliding over it as she side stepped. She had decided that on this very day she was done wearing clothes. A pull up was about as much as she could stand. Steve turned a bit and tilted his head. "What is she doing?" He muttered. Stella scooted a bit more then looked up as Jarvis spoke. "We're playing hide and seek Captain." Steve threw his head back in a laugh. "I'm betting it won't be long before she finds him." Tony muttered, watching the little one closely.

"Do you think she knows?" Steve whispered. They were watching her once more try and find Jarvis. What started as a one time thing, became a running joke in the house. Tony shook his head then looked up. "Wait, knows about what?"

"About where she came from." Steve muttered. He was already holding his hands down so she could get a ride up onto the couch. Tony took her at her request then plopped her in his lap. He began to pull that mess of hair back as he spoke. "Lets not say anything for now. If she asks one day, we'll be ready." She looked to him from behind her dark eyes, watching him intently. When Steve spoke she looked to him. "But what do we tell her?" Her attention returned to Tony, "We tell her the truth. She's a mixture of our DNA…cooked in a tube." Steve shut him up and took her from him. "I think she's listening."

"Sure she is, but she's three…I think. Anyway, she doesn't understand what we're talking about." She was now glaring at something across the room, done with them. "What if she can. What if she understands completely. She's not a normal little girl. She's…me. She's us. She's…" Steve was cut short due to the little girl trying to escape his arms. He set her down and watched her rush off. "Wonder where she's going…" Tony had an idea. He stood slowly and went with her. "Come on…she's going to the garage."

"Why would she be going in there! Stella! No ma'am! Young lady you get back here!" Steve followed as he barked more orders. He got quiet when he reached Tony's man cave. The little girl was looking through the glass wall, watching one of the robotic assistance go haywire. "Tony…is that normal?" The said man was punching in the code for the door as he shook his head. "How did she know…" The door opened and Tony looked to him, paying no mind to the girl slipping through his legs. "Like you said, she's you. She's…" Everything went quiet as the little girl yelled. They both rushed the room in a panic then stood stiff, watching in amazement as the little diaper clad girl wrestled the robot arm to the ground.

She stood up after defeating her first bad guy, looked down at it as she smoothed her hair back and pointed. "NO!" She snapped. Steve just burst into that fit of laughter while Tony stared in shock. Stella picked up her binky, popped it back in her mouth then turned to her parents and narrowed her eyes. "She completely destroyed it…by the way. So thanks a lot kid…" All she did was point at Tony ominously before leaving the room.

Those two took to parenting like fish to a frying pan. They both already each had a favorite thing about her. Tony loved it when she searched for Jarvis and Steve loved to test her abilities. She could lift about 50 pounds at her size and age. It was amazing. Her intellect was just as stellar. She had already figured out that Jarvis was not a person. She broadened her search to any tech she could find. One day while Tony's attention was elsewhere, she grabbed up his control device. Originally she just wanted to inspect it, like she did all things. But when she discovered that if she tapped certain parts of the screen she could make stuff around the lab happen.

Bruce rolled across the room in his seat, passing the little investigator. He stopped himself and held his hand down. "Stella can I have that…" She looked up at him with such rage it scared him. He yanked his hand back then looked to Tony. "She has your remote." Tony looked up and smiled. "Stella! Watch!" He made his way to her then showed her if she used her fingers to hold down on a section and slide, she could dim the lights. Stella watched then yanked the device away. She waddled off, setting her binky down on her way. That was a first. She looked up as she walked…looking more like Tony in that moment. She tapped away on the device, watching the world around her change this way and that. She looked at the little screen and inspected the small diagram on it. She flicked the device…and the odd orb appeared in front of her.

"Hello Madam Stella…" came a soft soothing, adorable voice. She held her hand up as Jarvis spoke. She put her hand into the hologram and moved the partials around. "Hello Jarvis." She said softly. Tony crossed his arms and leaned on a table. "Sonofabitch…she found him. She won. Steve owes me money." Bruce looked to him in amusement. "So I guess the games over now…"

The months that followed had the parents in a state of stupor. Every few weeks Stella seemed to change a bit. It wasn't noticeable at first but by the time the first snowfall of New York hit, she had outgrown pull-ups, going on her own, and her clothes were a size too small. Both men sat, watching her draw on some paper she found. She looked more like a six year old by now. Steve leaned in, inspecting her. She jerked her head up and gave him a face, indicating she didn't want to be bothered. Pure Tony. He stood back up and looked to his partner. "Is it just me or did she grow a bit over night…" Tony nodded, still watching her.

She stood up, paper in hand. She made her way to Steve and held it up. He looked down at her, but couldn't do much else. She waved the paper at him and sighed. "Come on Daddy, don't leave me hangin'…" He jumped a bit and took the drawing, looking over the little doodle of Jarvis. She walked away, stating she was hungry. The two men looked to each other then knew they had to make a call.

Stella crossed her arms over her chest, refusing to let Bruce listen to her heart. He sighed and sat back, giving up. They had brought him up to speed on her growth rate and he too agreed it was a little odd. But he figured it was due to her incubation conditions, not to mention she wasn't a normal little girl. "I think I have an idea…" Steve said, leaving the lab. Tony stepped over and put a hand on the girl's back. "Come on ankle biter. Just let us check you out."

"I'm fine. My heart rate is normal and my blood pressure is perfect. I don't get it. What's the big deal!" Tony shot her a look as she copped her attitude. He was the perfect sassy dad. Her attention averted when she heard a familiar voice. She hopped off the table and rushed Clint as he called to her while he stepped in. He grabbed her up playfully and growled. She laughed and plugged his nose. She never really did this with her parents. Then again, they weren't the coolest person ever! They were dumb parents. "Did you bring me anything?!"

"Did I bring you anything?" He parroted as he put her on her feet. He dug in his pocket. "Ooohhhh….lets seeee….huh, must have left it in my other pocket!" She was growing impatient until he presented her with the tip of an arrow. She squealed and snatched it from him, inspecting it. Clint looked up at the disapproving faces of her parents. All he gave them was a giggle. "Think you can distract her while I run some tests?" Bruce asked. Clint agreed and they got to work.

Everything checked out normal. She was however…extraordinary. Her cells were growing faster than an average child. Her parents thought that would end badly but Bruce reassured them that there was a drop off point where the acceleration would slow and almost stop. By her mid 30's she would be all caught up. They decided at that point to enjoy what little childhood they could get out of her. By then end of winter, she was entering a new phase of life.

Steve looked up from his book when Stella let out a scream from the bathroom. He waited for the all clear but didn't get one. He stood just as she exploded from the room in tears, rushing passed him. "Stella! What's wrong! Are you hurt!?"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" She screeched from her room. Tony was heading into view, looking to Steve for assurance. He just shrugged, that was all he had. Tony nodded and headed down the hall. He leaned up against the wall and knocked on the door. "I'M A FREAK!" She bellowed. "Sure why not." He muttered playfully, but jumped when something hit the wall, causing some sheetrock to rain form the upper levels. "Easy kid!"

"SHUT UP!" That was the kicker. Tony did not approve. He pushed his way into the room, trying to get the door open. She had it blocked by a dresser…lamp…100 pound bed…and a teddy bear. "Stella Annabel whatever your name is you open this door right now…" He went quiet when he spotted her, way in the corner, huddled in a ball, sobbing. He beckoned for Steve and the two of them tried for three hours to get her to let them in.

It took a bribe of shawarma and football tickets to get her to clear a path. She drug the heavy bed in it's entirety back toward the corner where it belonged. Steve offered to help her but she refused. When she got her room back in order, Tony sat on the bed and handed over his control device. "Hello Jarvis…" She said softly, fighting the urge to break down in a fit of tears again. "Hello Madam Stella." She pet the screen then looked away as he finished. "I am detecting a change in hormones. Are you alright?" Both men looked to each other then back at her in shock. Another call had to be made.

Steve nearly broke the door opening it as fast as he did. Natasha pushed her way in then held up about ten grocery bags. "That one is full of chocolate, ice cream, and chocolate ice cream…and that one…" Tony had already dug in…pulling out a box of tampons. He inspected it as if it were alien. Steve just hugged Natasha tight then let her go almost too roughly. "Listen, just let me handle this." She took the box and made her way down the hall. She opened the door and held up the gift. Stella looked up and those pretty brown eyes narrowed.

Tony was searching through all the products when Natasha came rushing through the room in a panic. "LESSON LEARNED!" She dove just in time as Steve's shield made it's way to her. "Ok, I'm going in." He muttered, taking up his shield and a box of products. Tony stood and kissed him comically then pretended to cry as he waved him off.

Steve crouched down and began to duck walk toward the door as he hid behind the shield. He used his teeth to rip open the box of tampons then threw them over like a live grenade. He ducked as the explosion erupted. "THAT'S NOT FUNNY DADDY I HATE YOU GET OUT OF MY LIFE AAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHH!" Tony could be heard from the other room laughing so hard he was coughing. Steve rushed back in and latched onto him, hiding behind him as the girl rushed by.

Her adolescent years proved the theory of the drop off point. The two parents cursed the day they complained about her growing up too fast. They wished this one would fly by. Tony watched that pretty little blond walk by in her own world. He was already cursing letting her have a phone. Last time she actually spoke to them was the day before she got it. "Stel. What's two plus two…" He joked. She just shot him a look, black painted lip curling up in a snarl. "Can't tell me can ya. Yeeeah it's because that phone is draining your IQ…hey, hey! Blondie…yeah you…" She was just staring at him in the ugliest way, fighting the urge to flip him off.

The front door chime went off and Tony hopped up. "You're gunna get it now." He muttered as he met Steve at the door. "Fix it." He barked. Steve was trying to put his jacket and keys up. He looked to Stella and narrowed those blue eyes. "Don't you think that eye makeup is a little heavy?"

"Don't you think that big head of yours is a little heavy…"

"Holy shit she can talk!" Tony snapped. Stella eyed him and snarled. "Tony, language." Steve barked as he entered the home. He snatched the phone from her, ignoring her protests. He tossed it in the wall safe and shut it. He turned to her and those hands went on his hips. She crossed her arms over her chest and the stand off began. Tony threw his hands in the air and walked away. He was better with the long talks and intellectual discoveries. Steve was stubborn and good at breaking her. He waited a few seconds then spoke, "Stand down."

"I can do this all day daddy."

Tony was already half way through his second drink as he watched the stand off come to a stop. Stella gave in and screamed about how she hated everyone before taking off to the garage. Steve looked to his partner and sighed. "Thanks for the assistance Stark." By now they were all about first names…unless they were truly angry. Tony sat up and put the drink down. "You're right. I should have said something. But damn it Steve, she's scary…I mean, have you seen her?! What's she into now? Manson? Serial killer documentaries? What?!" Steve sighed and walked off, throwing his hands in the air. Tony knew right then he had to step up before things turned to shit.

He let himself into the garage and looked around. He spotted her working on something. He approached and sat on the stool next to hers. "Sup Blossom." She just shot him a look before going back to tinkering. "Your cartridge isn't secure."

"I know."

"That proton fuser is gunna take one huge shit if you leave it like that."

"I know what I'm doing." He watched her for a moment then propped his head up using his elbow. "I couldn't stand my dad." She cut her eyes at him then went back to her work. "Yeah. He cared more about work than he did me. Half the time my parents were gone. Months at a time. They missed my childhood too…kinda like how we missed yours. Sorry about that." She set her tool down and looked away. Then…it happened.

"What am I…" Tony sat up, unsure of what to say at first. It wasn't until she looked to him that he found words. "Our daughter." She rolled her eyes and got up. "What else!" He watched her pace around the room, snapping and slapping her hands together, like he did when he was stressed. "You…are an experiment." Those words pierced her heart hard. She turned to him in a blind rage. "We still love you." He said softly. "I know, it's bullshit right?"

"Damn right its bullshit!" She snapped, taking up a wrench. He put his hands up slowly as he stood. "this…this feeling inside you, yeah. You're not alone." He eyed Steve in the doorway then went back to her. "You're not the only one."

"Bullshit!"

"Stella Annabel! Language!" Steve barked as he entered. He snatched the wrench from her and tossed it. She was about to just unload, but instead, he grabbed her in a hug. "Everything special about me…came out of a bottle." He muttered as he put his lips in her hair. She had already started to cry. "You and me are the same. But your creation was special because you came out of us both. Not some super hero juice. Just us. Just love." She latched onto his back and sobbed so hard she gagged.

It was the last they heard of it. A few days later their world came crashing down around them. Steve rushed into the kitchen in a panic, causing Tony to spit out his coffee. They both rushed down the hall and Steve showed off the empty bed. There on the pillow was a note. Typical teenage runaway note. This girl had vanished to go figure out what she was, where she belonged…and who she would be. Both men searched, but you couldn't find someone skilled enough to stay hidden. You couldn't find what did not want to be found.

They had watched her grow from a toddler to a sixteen year old in the corspan of six months and now, they had nothing to show for it. Time didn't care. It kept moving. Jobs and missions came and went. Tony finally finished the project he and Bruce had been working on. The Pagoda they had fought years before was now being used to house a new program. It didn't let off frosty energy like before. It just looked like a hologram of a young man. It was great in battle and could be used in dangerous inhabitable surroundings. The 7 year mark came and went for the power couple, and it had been two years to the day of Stella's disappearance.

Steve marched into the lab, in a huff, ready to protest the use of the Pagoda on a specific job. They were informed of a hostage situation. Tony had already given the all clear and their project was gone. Steve's protesting did not stop there. If they insisted on using that stupid holographic man then so be it. He thought it was a bad idea though, so he headed out on his own to rescue those hostages his way. By the time he got there, the place was destroyed. He knew for a fact the Pagoda had gone awry. "This is exactly why…" He muttered as he made his way through the rubble.

Right before he made it inside what was left of the building, he bumped into what felt like the Hulk, and he went down. "Oh shit, whoa dude are you ok?" His eyes popped open and watched as a young lady helped him to his feet. She was cute and almost perfect. "Uuuhh, anyway. Sorry about…y'know…almost killing you. Hey…you're here for the hostages right?!" There was something odd about this girl. Steve didn't answer her, he just turned away and put a finger to his ear. "We have an enhanced in the field." The girl looked around then back to him. "Whoa cool, really?" She followed, looking around for this…enhanced. She watched Steve as he moved junk and rubble around. "They're gone…" She said softly. The man turned to her and narrowed his eyes. "What did you do with them…"

"Nothing…mmh…why? Should I have…done something with them? Ooohhhhppppfffffftttt! Shhhiiit…I was supposed to bring them to that place…y'know! Uuuhhh…what'sit called…"

"Safe house…" He muttered, watching her cautiously. She snapped and pointed a finger at him as she put a free one on her nose. "That's the one!"

"Are you drunk?" He asked, approaching her slowly. "Uuumm…nnnooo…" She looked around then back to him. "Are you offering? I mean, I'm a lush so…" He shook his head as he watched her. He made his way around her then stopped to face her again. "What are you?"

"Eehh…that's a good question. I always thought it was some kind of…super soldier thing." Steve held up a hand as his eyes went wide. "Are you a Winter Soldier!" She jumped out of her skin then giggled. "Shiiittt nooo! But I know where some are. Big base in Moscow. The place is junk now. Soldiers all dead. I know a guy…" Steve's brow rose. "James. James Buchanan Barns. You work for him?" The girl got this weird look on her face. "That…that would be weird…because he's like, I mean, we're like…a thing…so…but anyway! Whatever! So tell me about yourself!" Steve was taken aback by a few things but decided to play along while he waited for the backup.

"My name is Steve Rodgers." He said simply. He noticed the girl got a look on her face, as if she were pained by something. "I'm sure he spoke of me." He said. "If not, he should have. Now, how about yourself. I shared, it's your turn." She put her hands on her hips and shook her head. "Not yet Pretty Boy. I have a few more questions. For starters. Where's Stark?" Steve took interest in this. He had never met this young woman yet she knew his partner. "What do you want with Stark…" He asked in an almost protective tone. She just put her hands up and smirked. "Nothing really, he just owes me money. About ten bucks. He swore he would give it to me after we got home." She had him distracted enough to rip his hood from his suit clean off. Steve was in a stupor but got ready for the fight.

Everything came to an end as they both came down on each other hard. His fist connected with hers and it caused them both to fall backwards and hit the ground. He began to slowly help himself up as she got to her feet. "You're going easy on me. Why?" He didn't answer, just tossed his shield at her. "How's that for going easy." He gasped out as he stood up. His heart jumped into his throat as he watched her inspect the shield instead of…being taken down. "Oh I remember this…" She said. Steve was about to just tackle her but backup arrived. Tony landed and set Natasha down. She swayed and plopped over then jumped to her feet. The girl watched in amusement as the rest of the team touched down.

Hulk beat on his chest and readied himself for the fight. "Awww cool you guys even have Hulk with you! Oooh man I love that guy…" She watched Clint take his place and draw his arrow. She smiled bright and waved at him, causing him to lose focus for a second and look to the other's in confusion. "So what's the story. Who are you and where are the hostages?" Tony barked. The girl just crossed her arms and gave him this…look…

"Nn'kay…" Tony muttered as he held up his arms. "Sir, hold your fire, you're going to hit Captain Rodgers." Jarvis spoke, causing Tony to look around for Steve. "He's way over there." Steve was catching on…causing his eyes to widen. The girl took a step toward Tony and put a hand on the helmet. "Hello Jarvis." She said softly. "Hello Madam Stella." He replied in a loving way, not missing a beat.

Spoot: LEMME GO!

Tony: Lock her up tight. No one escapes the naughty chair…


End file.
